DID How many traumas cause dissociative identity disorder?

[PerfectlyFlawed]

In my childhood photos, you see the normal me, and the alter (protector) in my face in a different picture.

I have no recollection of my father abusing me, although my little says, "A bear touched me in the wrong place in the shower and burned me with the Dial soap."

My little also says, "The bear rubbed me in the car"

That is the only two incidences that occurred to us (as a system)

Lately, I have been having vivid flashbacks of being on the playground and two teenaged boys playing basketball and them telling me to rub myself.

I used to act out all the time. Up until my mom swatted me and told me no.

I also would pee every time I went to the slides at a playground.

I never dated until I was 19 years old, and that ended up being sexually/mentally/physically/emotionally abusive and he stalked me. This triggered DID again.

Appreciation in advance:)

 

[Abstract]

Hi Perfectlyflawed.

Welcome. :)

I hope its OK to post a link with general information about DID. http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Dissociative-identity-disorder.html As far as I understand it there needs to be enough repeated severe incidents at a young age (I believe under 6) that they get grouped into sections in the mind. You can also look at Structural Dissociation Theory (I think it is "Tertiary")

Sorry for the things that happened. :(

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

Thank you for this!

It is scary

 

[Abstract]

I am sorry it is scary Perfectlyflawed. I understand why. I hesitated posting it.

Take it slowly.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

It's okay! I knew someone else was running my body when I switch personalities. I thought they were just moods I was in but they are actually alters

They have kept me alive though.

There are 11 of 'me'

 

[Phenioxrising]

DID does get some getting used to. Though I have an alter that likes to play tricks. I had 3 of them, two of which integrated. Though the one i'm left with refuses to integrate. Take therapy at your own pace, and talk openly here as you feel safe to do so. You have some un-resolved issues with your past as it sounds.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

Yeah, and for some reason I have always hated/feared men. makes sense now.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

What is the integration phase like?

 

[circe47]

The amnesiac barriers of my system started coming down in 2007. This is when I was triggered by an article in a magazine about one of my abusers as a small child. Since 2007 I have begun to realize that there were alters in place that got me through a very difficult life.

I have many years that I have no memory of and looking at pictures of "myself" during these years I have a distinct sense of disconnect. It is as if I am looking at someone else. None of these "people" in the pictures is the REAL me. I am only just getting an idea of who I am and what my needs, preferences, personal style and philosophy of life actually are. It's strange to see how my sense of style reflects the environment I was in at the time.

I think I've been on the mid/severe end of the continuum and am only now in a safe place where the internal barriers are free to come down. While the barriers are coming down......I don't necessarily want to integrate. I think each alter deserves to have life.