Friday
Moderator
I’ve never taken things people did in their sleep, or in pain, personally.
I’m pretty good at dodging nightmare-flails & first 30 seconds you’re not responsible for your actions attacks… but people in pain have required close contact, meaning I’ve been hit, kicked, bitten, headbutted, thrown into walls/furniture, strangled, you name it. That’s just fight or flight. Hit em with some morphine or vitamin H, and no worries. No meds? Hang the f*ck on, and try to keep them from hurting themselves/others until they pass out, or wake the f*ck up (pain & panic blinds people, if they don’t pass out, they’ll usually get to a point where they “wake up” ; blinking really quickly and kind of shake themselves -or lock into a single position- and be able to SEE & actually interact/engage with the people around them… instead of attacking blindly & attempting to escape).
To ME, if I’m trying to wake someone up from a nightmare, and I get clocked? I consider that a self inflicted injury. Whoops! Dodge faster, Friday.
So I don’t know HOW to apologize, in a meaningful way, to someone I (have been told) I hit and shouted at to go away go away go away… in my sleep.
Have I apologized? Yep. But in the way that someone who doesn’t …isn’t… hurt? “Oh SH*T, sorry, you okay?” Because I was asleep. In another room, by myself.
And they? Are hurt. Not physically. But deeply.
Yes, I was in another room by myself, but they were worried, and came to try and help. Because? Love. And I screamed and hit them in my sleep.
I don’t know how to make that better.
Because it’s outside of my frame of reference. (Hence the long intro.).
And “I’m sorry you feel blah blah blah” is a BS f*ck you apology, I won’t do. That’s just insult added to injury. Literally, in this case.
There may not be anything I can do to salve this hurt they feel… but I would like to.
Does anyone HERE take nightmares personally? Have partners who do? Family who does? Who could kick me some knowledge?
I’m pretty good at dodging nightmare-flails & first 30 seconds you’re not responsible for your actions attacks… but people in pain have required close contact, meaning I’ve been hit, kicked, bitten, headbutted, thrown into walls/furniture, strangled, you name it. That’s just fight or flight. Hit em with some morphine or vitamin H, and no worries. No meds? Hang the f*ck on, and try to keep them from hurting themselves/others until they pass out, or wake the f*ck up (pain & panic blinds people, if they don’t pass out, they’ll usually get to a point where they “wake up” ; blinking really quickly and kind of shake themselves -or lock into a single position- and be able to SEE & actually interact/engage with the people around them… instead of attacking blindly & attempting to escape).
To ME, if I’m trying to wake someone up from a nightmare, and I get clocked? I consider that a self inflicted injury. Whoops! Dodge faster, Friday.
So I don’t know HOW to apologize, in a meaningful way, to someone I (have been told) I hit and shouted at to go away go away go away… in my sleep.
Have I apologized? Yep. But in the way that someone who doesn’t …isn’t… hurt? “Oh SH*T, sorry, you okay?” Because I was asleep. In another room, by myself.
And they? Are hurt. Not physically. But deeply.
Yes, I was in another room by myself, but they were worried, and came to try and help. Because? Love. And I screamed and hit them in my sleep.
I don’t know how to make that better.
Because it’s outside of my frame of reference. (Hence the long intro.).
And “I’m sorry you feel blah blah blah” is a BS f*ck you apology, I won’t do. That’s just insult added to injury. Literally, in this case.
There may not be anything I can do to salve this hurt they feel… but I would like to.
Does anyone HERE take nightmares personally? Have partners who do? Family who does? Who could kick me some knowledge?