Combination reply to everyone:
First of all, thanks.
I have no friends to go with me. I was prohibited from making friends growing up, and now I'm so messed up that nobody wants to be around me (needless to say, I can't go with family). I've been dealing not only w/ ptsd, but also depression, anxiety, multiple personality / dissassociative identity disorder, insomnia, severe sensory processing disorder, and high-functioning autism & aspbergers, with a touch of ocd ever since i was a very little kid, but was prohibited from seeking treatment. Fast forward 20 years, I no longer have to answer to anyone but me and have been trying to get this wrangled together. But 20 years of your mind being your own personal hell is a lot to untangle (in addition to the 20+ years of events that started/kept worsening this whole ordeal) Depression and/or anxiety meds don't work for me, since all they do is either elevate the depression/anxiety to crippling levels, or make me uncontrollably suicidal (im not like that when not on meds)
One of the things that I wind up running into when a bad (i.e. talking or thinking about what I feel-induced) ptsd episode hits, in addition to my body trying to shut down on me is becoming extremely violent if I feel I can't escape. And when your mind is what you need to escape... well, you can't just go run out to the car to get away like you can from the screaming child in the store that's making you have flashbacks. So just jumping in and facing it all is... a quick way to get arrested for property destruction or worse.
I'd love to have a therapy dog, but I have a severe allergy to all animals (even the "hypoallergenic" ones). Which sucks, because I love cats. I also have a long list of physical medical ailments on top of my mental ones, and as such, am prohibited from most exercising (drs orders)... the few I'm allowed to do result in either ptsd episode or panoc attack. Plus, it doesn't really help that the anxiety has resulted in uncontrollable reflux so bad that I'm getting stomach acid in my lungs (and food in my sinus cavities), which makes it really difficult to breathe, even when just sitting down. This also makes it really difficult to do the whole "deep breathing for anxiety" thing, because that triggers a coughing fit that, thanks to a genetic disorder, causes my ribs to start to pull loose of my sternum. (Been hospitalized for that... it sucks)
I've also tried the various "eat this to combat that" diets, but I have so many food sensitivities and allergies, that it just doesn't work. Nothing quite like spending all day on the loo or with a cripplimg migraine to make your depression worse.
Trying to do things to make me relax... well, I've not been able to relax in decades. Not even under the unfluence of doctor prescribed sedatives. (My doc was soo confused when what should have been a heavy enough dose of sedatives to knock my on my butt just made me freak out more. Bad day.)
As far as talking with peoples about "non event" things... those dont really exist. Favorite things? I don't really have any. Not for lack of effort... it's just everything sucks so hard thanks to the depression. Like I could win the 5-quintillion-dollar lottery, never have to work a day in my lige again, and still not be happy. Misc life events? I work 140+ hrs/week for a soul-draining job just to keep a roof over my head, and don't have the option of quitting right now (long story). If I'm lucky, I'll be able to catch a shower before having to head straight to bed only to have monstrous nightmares all night. None of that I want to talk about, and I have nothing else. Doesn't really help that just being in the presence of other people causes issues for me too.
For what it's worth, I've also tried that whole "light therapy" thing (under a lamp since I sunburn nearly instantly), and all I got from it was horrible migraines, even if I had my eyes covered.
Well, folks, where do we go from here?