This was/is my greatest fear. Giving someone else my nightmares. Traumatizing someone else. Logically, I know therapists have heard it all. My stuffs can't be that bad. They've heard it all. I know, cuz I've heard and seen a lot just in my profession. Which is why I went into my profession; physician heal thyself, right?You have to now censor yourself in therapy.
I was just dumb by sitting back on the couch and saying what I did. Some stories don't need to be told. Or heard. They need to die with us. 7 years was too long walking on egg shells trying therapy. Maybe there's some of us that bring out the worst in therapists and cant be healed. I don't know. I'm just musing.
The too-muchness up in my head feels way too loud tonight. Please don't be sorry. You people, this board is an incredible service for people. Thank YOU!!!
I just need the noise to settle down. SI is a crutch, I get it. And I had been fine without it for years until I made the therapist self disclose with my dumb admittance. And I sat back and accidentally got comfortable. For some, there is no comfortable. Or safe. Its all good though. It'll be quiet soon. Thanks people. Even if I'm not your tribe, you listened. Thank you, hope everyone has a good night.