How to increase my confidence?

[Ocean147]

So I'm at a point in my life where I know my hobbies and I have an idea of what my values are. But...I still struggle to increase my confidence. Do you all have tips that could help, please?

 

[arfie]

how 'bout some commiseration? that very issue has been on my plate for all of my 70 years and? ? ? works still in progress.

am i there yet? some days more than others. taking it one day at a time is my current favorite tool. i celebrate the good days and be gentle with myself on the bad days. one day at a time.

 

[Friday]

Confidence in what ways? Where are you running into problems?

 

[Ocean147]

I would say being able to see myself doing confident things. For example, seeing myself as beautiful, painting on a blank canvas, being assertive, picking out new shows/movies.

 

[Movingforward10]

I would say being able to see myself doing confident things. For example, seeing myself as beautiful, painting on a blank canvas, being assertive, picking out new shows/movies.

What helped me think about this was several things.

Looking at the "drama triangle" and the "winners triangle" and looking at little shifts in my mindset to help.

Also, thinking about drivers of behaviours. Like people pleasing and other things and then thinking about how to shift that.

Those shifts in thoughts helped build confidence. As it helped my sense of self, helped with expressing my needs and helped with taking my space in the world.

And then practice. Lots of practice. And practice is uncomfortable. It is very hard changing behaviour , even if the outcome is positive there is the initial backlash. But the backlash gets less the more you do it and the achievements are then held more. And it gets easier.

If any of that makes sense?!

 

[parrotthepolly]

I would say being able to see myself doing confident things. For example, seeing myself as beautiful, painting on a blank canvas, being assertive, picking out new shows/movies.

There are somethings that if you know you enjoy, you just gotta do it! I know how it feels to be frozen and not being able to start activities. But once you are painting or enjoying a new program it's worth getting out of the mindset and take a leap.

I thought being assertive came with PTSD as part of the 'speaking things as they are' response. But agree with what above user said about people pleasing, it's a difficult to change your mindset at first though but gotta keep going.