How To Not Fail Somatic Experiencing Therapy

[Justmehere]

I feel discouraged. In my perfect world, she would have come to that second appointment with an understanding of my background (from having talked to my therapist) and a clearly defined plan for how to move forward. Instead I got a repeat of the first "getting to know you" session and an erroneous account of my trauma. I don't know what the point is.

This is very important stuff to tell her. Your expectations are reasonable but would not always be obvious to every therapist. Some clients want to go slower and tell their trauma histories themselves. Some don't.

As far as what trauma your body wants to work on, I have done a lot of SE therapy and I would find that question to be hard and frustrating. Another way to get to what she is asking for, is when you think of your trauma, and you notice what you are feeling in your body when you think of it, which trauma has the strongest physical sensations. If that's too hard to figure out, I would suggest picking whatever trauma comes to mind most often for you.

Overall, it seems like you want a therapist who is more take charge and directive, and that's really important to tell her. There are a number of times I tell my therapist I don't want to go over history again, rather than just going over it again, or I want to work on something harder. Being able to communicate that is part of the work itself.

I also think you really do need to tell her how much pressure you are feeling to make sure the sessions are effective and focused, because of the financial concerns. She does need to step up her work a bit, and you have some work to do as well in telling her just how you are feeling and the same things you are sharing here. Your feelings and frustrations very legit and important to work through in order for the therapy to be effective.

 

[SeaQuel]

Thanks @Justmehere your post was very helpful. You are right, I do need to find a way to talk to her about these things. It's really hard to do that when we haven't established any relationship. I have a hard enough time doing that with my regular therapist whom I've been seeing for a while.

Thanks for the suggestion on how to figure which trauma to work on. I'm going to try that!