How To Wake Up A Sleeping Person with PTSD?

[2quilt]

I would like suggestions on how mt DH should go about waking me out of sleep in such a way that (A) he lives to tell about it and (B) I don't startle, resulting in lose of bowel and bladder control, followed by lose of temper.


Tip toeing into the room and trying not to wake me will, in fact, wake me and trigger me. We will then have to change the bedsheets as I threaten to kill him.

Better suggestions?

 

[Marlene]

2quilt,

I'm such a light sleeper (so much worse since PTSD) that every little noise wakes me up. I have noticed though, that when I'm half awake and my husband touches me that it's so much worse than when I'm asleep. The other night I was almost out and he came into the bedroom and was feeling his way to the end of the bed so he could climb in he inadvertantly touched my foot. I about came undone. I froze, anxiety out the wazoo, heart beating a mile a minute...and I knew it was my husband that had touched me.

One thing he does is if I'm not awake (or fully awake) when he leaves early in the morning to go fishing on the weekends is to softly call my name (or say 'babe') until I roll towards him. Then he'll touch me. He's always done this...odd now that I think about it. But it's always been the best way for him to wake me without startling me.

Also, he doesn't tip-toe around the bedroom. He's not in the bull-in-a-china-shop mode, but he does go about his normal routine. He gets his clothes and leaves the room to get dressed. He turns on lights in the house. Even though the bedroom door's closed, a little light comes under it. All normal house noises (dress drawers sliding, door opening, foot falls, etc.) and activities so it's nothing I get alarmed about.

I hope you guys come up with a system that works for you. There's nothing worse than being startled awake. It just seems to make every bad reaction worse.

Good luck.
Lisa

 

[Claire]

I use an alarm clock with my ipod. I have a track that is just bird sound. Its enough to wake me. I was using a Cuckoo sound until the spring when a real cuckoo kept waking me up at dawn!

It's a gentle way to wake though. I also have other sounds like a river, waves etc.

 

[midi]

For most of my life, I semi-functioned with undiagnosed PTSD. So, of course, I thought I was just an angry tyrant when somebody tried to wake me up. It was like Jeckyll and Hyde - now, I use an iPod radio, that has usually Celtic music playing (similar to Claire). I've made progress in the last few months - I'm not in Attack Mode as soon as I wake up anymore.

I hope you find a good system, as Lisa noted.

 

[Deleted member 541]

My suggestion.....Apparently careful, or he will be changing the sheets.. That is, if he lives that long....LOL!!!!!!! Sorry, but I live alone, and my alarm clock has managed to live through waking me up.....

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I have a water fountain next to my bed LOL. It's the kind you would put out-side in a small garden. The noise of the fountain relaxes me and it drowns out most noises that would otherwise wake me.

Hey, I see a pun on words; the 'water' foutain 'drowns' out noise. Just in a good mood today.

Tammy

 

[Manic11]

Haha! Nice one, Tammy. I noticed that one too and giggled lol (In a good mood too :rofl:)

With me, its just not a good idea to wake me up. It's best to let me wake up by myself or to my cell phone alarm. One time, a friend of mine had to wake me up for a certain reason. Instead of coming into my bedroom to wake me up, he texted me (I always have my phone on...its my alarm clock). It might still startle me a bit but when I wake up and realize it was just my phone and a text saying "Are you awake?" its okay. I realize there's no one in the room and everythings okay.

It sounds silly considering my friend is just on a different floor of the house and texting me but it works out much better for all of us.
I'm also extremely territorial so people in or around my bedroom contributes to the freak outs... Just not a good idea.

Manic

 

[Mina]

I really like Manic's idea. If you have a cell phone, could you keep it by your bed, and have your husband call you from another room? My DH never has to purposely wake me because we are on different schedules, but I know I am very disturbed waking up to his alarm, which is either obnoxious beeping or really loud music. Instead I use my cell phone as my alarm, and have it set to a nice, pleasant chime tone called "Mystic Bell." Maybe you could download and designate a tone or song you like and are less triggered by, assign it to just his number, and have him call you to wake you up.

 

[2quilt]

Thanks for all your great ideas!

Now I have to train my DH.
How many years of marriage does it take to train a husband?

 

[Manic11]

By the way.... what does DH stand for? :think: I've been wondering. :crazy:

Manic

 

[Blues in NYC]

One way not to:

While on a long flight, especially if the person with PTSD is drugged up on dramamine, don't grab their mouth! My wife, in a stupor of her own half-sleep did this on our flight to Hawaii just after my diagnosis, on the plane, mid flight!

The few weeks prior, including my diagnosis, had shocked her. She'd been coming to grips with how long and constant my suicidal ideation had lasted. Fearing death, she meant to just feel my breath but it somehow turned into grabbing my lips. Remember she was half asleep and jetlagged herself! Luckily, I was already on my third dose of dramamine for the trip so all I really did was wine like a child "Why did you do that?" and began to cry a little.

Later we laughed about it. Just the same, despite the yuks we had, I do not recommend mouth grabbing as a means of waking anyone--PTSD or no! :rofl:

 

[Marlene]

How many years of marriage does it take to train a husband?

Well, we're heading towards 23 years in a few months and I'm still working on him.

Good luck with yours.
Lisa