BloomInWinter
VIP Member
My therapists have been helping me get strong enough to finally be able to separate from my hubby. He and I have very little in common besides the kids, and there is just not any affection, warmth, or desire there from either of us.
He has moved out and we are moving forward together. We communicate daily and he lives within bicycling distance so the kids can go between houses at will, though we will be doing shared custody when school starts up.
Already, I feel safe in my home finally. There is less stress overall. While the finances are challenging, I have started consulting and supplementing my income that way.
The decluttering I've been doing for my home has paid off. All the closets are manageable. I just have a few more areas to deal with to get his stuff out and it is a relief. It's like magic to actually clean something up and not have it trashed just hours later.
I had learned helplessness for over 12 years. This is the first time I can fully acknowledge that is what I was dealing with. My mom was never able to escape from my father. I was just repeating the cycle, though my ex wasn't even close to being as bad as my dad. My PTSD caused me to continually re-experience my relationship with my father in my marriage, which wasn't fair to either of us. We're ok as friends, though, and as co-parents.
I have no intention of ever having another relationship. I want to have fun with my kids, friends, and doing activities that I enjoy and find fulfilling.
I am so grateful to my therapists and all of you. I know my Mom would be proud of me. Heck, I am proud of myself!
He has moved out and we are moving forward together. We communicate daily and he lives within bicycling distance so the kids can go between houses at will, though we will be doing shared custody when school starts up.
Already, I feel safe in my home finally. There is less stress overall. While the finances are challenging, I have started consulting and supplementing my income that way.
The decluttering I've been doing for my home has paid off. All the closets are manageable. I just have a few more areas to deal with to get his stuff out and it is a relief. It's like magic to actually clean something up and not have it trashed just hours later.
I had learned helplessness for over 12 years. This is the first time I can fully acknowledge that is what I was dealing with. My mom was never able to escape from my father. I was just repeating the cycle, though my ex wasn't even close to being as bad as my dad. My PTSD caused me to continually re-experience my relationship with my father in my marriage, which wasn't fair to either of us. We're ok as friends, though, and as co-parents.
I have no intention of ever having another relationship. I want to have fun with my kids, friends, and doing activities that I enjoy and find fulfilling.
I am so grateful to my therapists and all of you. I know my Mom would be proud of me. Heck, I am proud of myself!
