Hugging

[SinkorSwim]

I know this is a controversial topic. Yesterday in therapy I was experiencing some very strong upsetting thoughts. I feel like my inner self wanted a hug from my therapist to help calm me down. I know some therapists are not okay with hugging but some are. I feel like a hug would have helped in that moment but I'm too afraid to ask incase I get rejected. So how do I go about bringing up hugging and seeing if she is one that will hug?

 

[shimmerz]

My first psychiatrist warned me to NEVER accept a hug from a therapist. I looked at him quizzically. I still am not sure why he said that.

 

[loui50]

I went through something very difficult one session with my T and at the end I just asked. She said yes but was very ackward about it. Maybe it was me but it felt weird. I asked again the next session and it felt even weirder so I never asked again. My very first t was a hugger. She actually hugged me in my very first session. I broke down a few times in her office and she sat next to me and put her arm around me. I felt a better relationship with her than my current t. But I feel like I'm making my progress with my current t. I miss my end of session hug from my first t. I felt like Icut myself open and exposed everything during a session and the hug sealed everything back up til next time. That might sound weird, but I miss being hugged.

 

[Eagle3]

Bring it up as a hypothetical. That way, the T can talk about their philosophy about hugging without anyone feeling judged. Something like, "The other day I felt like I needed a hug but was too afraid to ask. What is your position on hugs in therapy?" That's what I did with my very huggy T. I had issues with social rules, safe touch, and hugs, so it started as therapy to help figure out those rules. Now its a ritual we both appreciate, and I'm getting better at it in real life thanks to the hugs after every session. Ask away, phrase it in a way that says, "this is something I'd like to work on in session, if you're comfortable with it". Be prepared for a no, but you just might luck out!

 

[Deleted member 42665]

If my T had not offered to hug me, I never would of asked.

However I do like the above comment about asking hypothetical . Would be a good suggestion.

Best of luck to you, I think I feel way more confident today and trusting in mine because of the hug, BUT, at the same time, also more bonded, which is only gonna be a nightmare in the end. Ha

 

[SinkorSwim]

Thank you all for your replies! Now I feel less weird asking since a lot of you get hugs!

 

[Deleted member 42665]

Good luck but remember, some T's wont.. don't feel awful if she is one, it's her personal boundary choice