Hypervigilance and sex drive

[Mfjoe]

Hi all,

I've always had an infamously low sex drive. I think to really get into it you have to let yourself go, lose yourself in the moment.

Trouble is I find that extremely difficult because I'm still 'on' if you understand, still listening hard and focusing on my peripherals, still replaying events in the day for potential problems. Ive had my testosterone checked, normal, done my self searching, and definitely hetero.

I'd like to know are there any others out there that maybe share this?

Thanks

 

[somerandomguy]

In order to have actual sex, you have drop your consciousness from your brain into your body - yes, to let yourself go, to lose yourself in the moment. You can't be anxious or hypervigilant or otherwise still in your head and expect your body to work properly. You might be able to complete the act, or you might not, but either way it will be tremendously unsatisfying.

It's not at all surprising when you're constantly scanning for problems that sex is a no-go. Hypervigilance might also mimic a low sex drive since you're not going to be aware of your body enough to be able to let yourself go or respond sexually.

Often what helps people is to do exercises that more or less force you to be in your body. Yoga helped me personally, but some swear by various martial arts or tai chi.