Other Hypomania anyone?

[Daisy_May]

I'm not sure if anyone else feels this, but since I have been on my new hormone pill I have been calm and cool as a cucumber.

However, instead of the lows the last few days I have had spikes in what I believe is hypomania.

I fantasize about all the 'bad' jobs I can get, like how cool it would be to be a gangster and have people be afraid of you, or all the money and power from a job like the guy in the movie Blow, or the Sopranos.

I am by no means a criminal of any sort, but I find myself needing and craving that sort of power. Even sexually I feel more forceful and in charge. I feel like telling anyone who I think is looking at me the wrong way to "f-off", crushing them with my too-cool attitude.

It's ridiculous. This is not how I think. This is not who I am. I am the opposite of this, I find these roles and images just for movies. But my mind gets hijacked, and I turn up my volume and drive around actually fantasizing about this, like I'm acting to myself. I feel crazy! I am also 100times more confident and cocky and flirty, attracting attention from as many men as possible. I do not by any means seduce them, but it feels like I just love the power.

Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[anni]

Hi Daisey,

Maybe it's not so much hypomania? I do think when we feel good about ourselves in any way, we tend to look around for something about it to be 'wrong' or somehow bad, you know? No, of course the all-powerful, all sexual feelings are way off base but you're not acting on them-you're neither holding up banks nor posting erotic videos on U-Tube. You're just worrying that since you're feeling uber-confident, it's uber-bad. I'm SOOOO not a professional so maybe ( very possibly ) am way off but perhaps you're just so NOT used to feeling this well that your head just doesn't know what on earth to DO with it all. Maybe our heads require some practice,feeling WELL for once, like our bodies do the first time we put on roller skates or get into a car with 8 cylinders. Both are about using various forms of balance and control, and figuring out what to do to achieve both.

I'm sure your T can tell you if this sort of thing truly is unhealthy, and hypomania, but it seems to me that someone who truly is experiencing that would no be worrying about it's onset, implications or consequences-they'd just yahoo themselves into some awful situation. 'Seems to me' is the pertinant phrase, however, and could be so far off base am on another continent. :)