Hi,
I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Cheryl and I was dating a man with PTSD for the last three months until yesterday when I ended it. There was only so much I could handle emotionally and mentally. Everything went well for the first month until I noticed his short temper and his agitation towards certain situations. It wasn't until it was myfamily member's birthday celebration. The party involved heavy drinking and we got into a huge fight... He then admitted to me that he has PTSD and that he was a recovering alcoholic. He did tell me that he was a Gulf War veteran.
As I started to spend more time with him, I noticed the fights became more frequent. He blamed me for certain things and would take out his anger on me. I responded with a short temper as well, which did not help. A lot of yelling occurred and if I were to simply ask him to do something, he would easily disregard a favor I would ask him to do.
For the sake of avoiding any kind of argument, I was the stronger one in keeping fights at minimum. I would talk in a calmly manner and would point out his temper- there were times that he would notice it and apologize and at times, his temper would get worse. There was a point recently where he got mad and took his belt and hit it against the wall.
The last week he started pushing me away - saying he had a lot on his mind, that he doesn't know what to do with our relationship and that he was not mentally stable and happy with himself. He has shut down and distanced me away from him since an incident he was involved in. It wasn't until then that I noticed how bad his situation was - he told me a few days ago that he punched a guy and continually kicked him until security came out and ran for him. He texted me that he was seeing dead soldiers all around him saying that death is following him and that he needs to take precaution. He felt that the government was out to get him. He also told me that's why he had nightmares and tore at his toenails and fingernails, that the devil was trying to drag him to hell.
After that incident, he barely has called and responded to my calls or texts. It has killed and drained me emotionally. When I saw him to end the relationship, he didn't look well. He hadn't eaten nor slept in days. He was banging his head on the wall and asked me for any prescription drugs that would make him sleep forever. I couldn't see him like this and told him that he needed help. That I wanted him to get better and healthy again. That there's only so much that I can help and do emotionally, but it is ultimately up to him to get better. He confessed that he felt guilty for being a murderer at war and that he doesn't deserve to live. I told him that that wasn't true and that myself and those close to him don't want that for him. I am heartbroken and confused. I know deep down inside he's a good person. We have a strong connection and chemistry and it hurts for me to have ended it.
I told him that I still want to be there for him, that he could call me anytime. He asked me if it was okay for him to call me and tell me what his therapist says. He also asked me if he went away for a month on retreat and got better, would I still be with him. I said he can call me anytime. And that I will be here.
I worry about him everyday. I don't want to push him away. I sent him a link for Deepak Chopra's meditations, called him twice and left him a message expressing my feelings to him. I didn't get any returned calls and only a text that said, "Thank you." He did, however, contact me earlier today saying that he does miss me but he just doesn't want to argue anymore. I told him that if God permits, we will still be in each other's lives. I can only pray for my own strength patience and faith and can only pray for his own strength and courage to change within him. He said that I seem discontent when I'm around him, but I said that is only when we argue...
From what he told me, he used to go on daily walks, went to meditation classes at a Buddhist temple, went to his Jewish temple every week, went to his AA meetings twice a week, juiced everyday, exercised, cleaned his apartment every Sunday and was healthy. I don't know what happened.
I don't like the fact that the VA hospital prescribe every type of drug they can. I didn't even know they had pills for nightmares. There's a pill that makes him impotent and his blood pressure pills that make him dizzy. I told him that he shouldn't take the pills that don't make him feel good and to ask the doctor for a lower dosage.
I know it has only been three months and I care for him a lot. I don't know what to do and my heart doesn't want to walk away from him. I know it's up to him to get better and the PTSD is a lifelong sickness. My question to ask myself is, "Is it him that I really love and want? Do I really have the strength and courage to be there for him no matter what?"
Any advice or words of wisdom? Your thoughts are greatly appreciated...
I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Cheryl and I was dating a man with PTSD for the last three months until yesterday when I ended it. There was only so much I could handle emotionally and mentally. Everything went well for the first month until I noticed his short temper and his agitation towards certain situations. It wasn't until it was myfamily member's birthday celebration. The party involved heavy drinking and we got into a huge fight... He then admitted to me that he has PTSD and that he was a recovering alcoholic. He did tell me that he was a Gulf War veteran.
As I started to spend more time with him, I noticed the fights became more frequent. He blamed me for certain things and would take out his anger on me. I responded with a short temper as well, which did not help. A lot of yelling occurred and if I were to simply ask him to do something, he would easily disregard a favor I would ask him to do.
For the sake of avoiding any kind of argument, I was the stronger one in keeping fights at minimum. I would talk in a calmly manner and would point out his temper- there were times that he would notice it and apologize and at times, his temper would get worse. There was a point recently where he got mad and took his belt and hit it against the wall.
The last week he started pushing me away - saying he had a lot on his mind, that he doesn't know what to do with our relationship and that he was not mentally stable and happy with himself. He has shut down and distanced me away from him since an incident he was involved in. It wasn't until then that I noticed how bad his situation was - he told me a few days ago that he punched a guy and continually kicked him until security came out and ran for him. He texted me that he was seeing dead soldiers all around him saying that death is following him and that he needs to take precaution. He felt that the government was out to get him. He also told me that's why he had nightmares and tore at his toenails and fingernails, that the devil was trying to drag him to hell.
After that incident, he barely has called and responded to my calls or texts. It has killed and drained me emotionally. When I saw him to end the relationship, he didn't look well. He hadn't eaten nor slept in days. He was banging his head on the wall and asked me for any prescription drugs that would make him sleep forever. I couldn't see him like this and told him that he needed help. That I wanted him to get better and healthy again. That there's only so much that I can help and do emotionally, but it is ultimately up to him to get better. He confessed that he felt guilty for being a murderer at war and that he doesn't deserve to live. I told him that that wasn't true and that myself and those close to him don't want that for him. I am heartbroken and confused. I know deep down inside he's a good person. We have a strong connection and chemistry and it hurts for me to have ended it.
I told him that I still want to be there for him, that he could call me anytime. He asked me if it was okay for him to call me and tell me what his therapist says. He also asked me if he went away for a month on retreat and got better, would I still be with him. I said he can call me anytime. And that I will be here.
I worry about him everyday. I don't want to push him away. I sent him a link for Deepak Chopra's meditations, called him twice and left him a message expressing my feelings to him. I didn't get any returned calls and only a text that said, "Thank you." He did, however, contact me earlier today saying that he does miss me but he just doesn't want to argue anymore. I told him that if God permits, we will still be in each other's lives. I can only pray for my own strength patience and faith and can only pray for his own strength and courage to change within him. He said that I seem discontent when I'm around him, but I said that is only when we argue...
From what he told me, he used to go on daily walks, went to meditation classes at a Buddhist temple, went to his Jewish temple every week, went to his AA meetings twice a week, juiced everyday, exercised, cleaned his apartment every Sunday and was healthy. I don't know what happened.
I don't like the fact that the VA hospital prescribe every type of drug they can. I didn't even know they had pills for nightmares. There's a pill that makes him impotent and his blood pressure pills that make him dizzy. I told him that he shouldn't take the pills that don't make him feel good and to ask the doctor for a lower dosage.
I know it has only been three months and I care for him a lot. I don't know what to do and my heart doesn't want to walk away from him. I know it's up to him to get better and the PTSD is a lifelong sickness. My question to ask myself is, "Is it him that I really love and want? Do I really have the strength and courage to be there for him no matter what?"
Any advice or words of wisdom? Your thoughts are greatly appreciated...
