Sufferer I am reaching out to find someone who can understand.

Jean Valjean

New Here
Actualise thank you so much, what you have said, it made me tear up. Because of things in my earlier life I had to try to understand signs in adults what was coming next like their tone changing or a look in their eyes or change of expression. I didn't know what i was doing as a child by doing that, it was just a way of protecting myself but years went by and it was my daily way of life it gave me the strong empathetic ability and very sensitive to peoples behaviour. I understand the current paradigm we all live under is materialistic which clashes with my personal paradigm. I think using Maslow's hierarchy of needs I'm stuck at the 2nd base level of safety. My rage is triggered by the cruel and heartless, the physical abusive bullies. I had situation recently where I saw someone in my street arguing with some one who had a cat and was threating to poison the cat if the cat came into their garden again. I left my house like a switch in my head had been flipped and grab the man threating and threatened him, I was later visited by the police who spoke to me but no action was taken. How do I shift this reaction? my wife worries I'll get hurt or worse, once again one of the reasons I can't leave the house. I help people emotionally in my life whenever i can because of my empathy, I feel for them but I can have the strength to help them when they are at a low ebb because I draw on my own experience and give them that strength.

I absolutely believe you were meant to be born. Welcome. You are NOT alone! I hope you can take good care. And enjoy the site. We are here for eachother! No drama allowed seems like which is awesome.
Thank you default, being able to explain myself with others who understand is like being able to breath after almost drowning


@Jean Valjean checkout the forum for treatments. There are a lot of suggestions and discussions on different modalities.
I can say I really think EMDR is worthwhile checking out. For me and many it is much more powerful than sole CBT, though of course cognitive tools should just be used throughout whatever you do.


@Jean Valjean I'm really glad you're finding some relief. It can be so brutal. I'm in a wave right now of extreme emotion. Woke up a bear.

Onto grounding techniques and lots of self care. Like forcing myself to shower. Have a good day!!


Did you ever get treated badly by teacher or parents of other kids because you had no dad?
I don't know if I would have been aware of that as a child. I was incredibly dissociated so a lot of things didn't occur to me. I was shunned because I was fat. Not horribly fat, but fat enough to be made fun of all the time by adults and children. It was horrid.


New Here
Hi Jean, I hope you are well today. and have one person who you can talk to.
When I read your title and your message. It sounded like I had typed it.
I was born into extreme violent and toxic parenting. After reading about PTSD and CPTSD, I realised that my trauma began in the womb.
I joined this forum today, because I am struggling. I am a full time carer and caring for others usually helps me, but I am having a tough time with all aspects of my life and condition.
Seeing your post mad me want to help. You are not alone. None of us are. It just feels that way a lot of the time.
I had a transformative time in 2019 after an attempt to take my own life. I finally got the psychotherapy I needed, was diagnosed with CPTSD and was given a copy of "The Body Keeps the Score" - this book transformed my life. I now see my CPTSD as a framework, I can try and hand positive, joyful experiences on without chasing happiness.
I simply try to have a good hour or moment, then string that with another good experience over each day.
I don't know what else to say, because I do not want to hi-jack your thread. I hope this helps in some way.
I hope you have a good day today.


a little animal and swine

You are not an animal or a swine. You are a full thinking feeling sentient human person.

Did you ever get treated badly by teacher or parents of other kids because you had no dad?

I was raised by a single mom && I did not experience targeting due to that but I did have the odd "father's day" mishap or whatever. I would usually just make something for my mom.

nd we live in a time when trolling is rewarded i find it hard to leave the house because people are so heartless and selfish and I can't take that anymore even when it's nothing to do with me, i feel the need to stand up to cruelty and ignorance.

Gentle reminder that this is a cognitive distortion. Not every single human being is heartless && selfish. Only some are. Society is struggling right now. I too wish to stand up to cruelty && ignorance. I do not like bullying.