I Called My Friend And Found Out She Had Been Assaulted

[Srain]

My girlfriend was home by herself, her husband out working late, they live close to where she works part time and she had just been down there. A few minutes later she heard a man screaming for help that he'd been hurt so she opened the door to help him and he punched and raped her. She is the sweetest person I know. Not stupid or ignorant but kind. They live in a good neighborhood so this guy had to have been watching her to know her husband wasn't home. She has a peephole but I know I would have done the same thing and that's what worries me. Though there are times, especially during the day I don't open my door, I talk through it, even though I can see who is there, there are just too many people around our area and too many "workermen" in and out" though it's a nice neighborhood and I have weapons and dogs.

She did go and get help and called the police and did all of that, though I can't say if I would have...honestly, I can't say that so I'm very proud of her.

I was sick, she has and I have ended up moving so far from each other I haven't seen her in years, so she was on our minds this past weekend since I was supposed to have seen her the weekend before last. I had met her in the hospital years ago while she was having a manic episode and since then she has been doing great, gone on got married, her master's and was trying to have children lately.

I had called because I hadn't heard back from her and that was strange. When I asked what was up and she started telling me I just went numb, I wanted to go there to help but knew there was nothing I could do, she had already called the police long since, her husband was back in town, etc. She was signed up for therapy as she knows enough about this to take care of herself and asked that I keep in touch.

After I got off the phone I was furious. I wanted to scream out my door that every motherf***** better watch their back because I'm arming girls and women blahblablblah...then the anxiety hit...I was shaking and my head was hurting. I called my husband and left a message. I shoveled food down and ativan. but nothing helped until I was finally able to go to sleep.

I HATE THIS!! :cry:

 

[The Albatross]

(((Srain))).... I'm glad that your friend is doing the things necessary to help her through the assault. It is natural to go through the anger and anxiety after something like this happens. I hope you're feeling better today. I get your feelings... reading your post... I don't even know her but my mind immediately went back to my various stalkers... the one who kept coming back. And It is scarey when this stuff happens.

 

[AngelaMarie]

(((rain)))
I can understood why it was hard to hear. Hang in there. You are doing so good these days. You can handle this a little at a time!

 

[KP the nut]

(((Rain))) I don't know what to say except I will light a healing candle for you and your friend. You are a good friend and she knows you are there for her when she is ready.

 

[Froggie]

((((Rain & your friend)))), it is so awful to know how some will resort to such ruse just to indulge in narcissic sexual satisfaction. Your anger and feelings are justisfied, your friend is doing the right thing now, and so are you in sharing what this is doing to you.

 

[Misera1013]

WOW. Let me just say how scared I am right now. My heart is pounding out of my chest.

I'm SO sorry for both you and your friend!!!!

The creepy part is I opened this up, and got a knock at my door. I'm home ill with these freaking migraines for the next 5 days or so. (Maybe longer) I was sitting on the couch and I have a huge window and a guy was on a bike. I knew he saw me. I don't like answering the door. Even with the dogs here, I'm still not happy about it. I step out on the porch, and the guy is talking about kids and something, BLAH BLAH BLAH. I try to get him to leave. He asks to come in!! I tell him I'm ill, and no. Then he wants lunch! OH my!!! I get him and apple and a granola bar. Now he wants to know what house will have elderly people in them so he can skip those houses. I just tell him about the houses right next to me. When I come back in I lock my door and turn on my alarm system again. I sit down and read this thread!!!!

((SRAIN))

 

[The Albatross]

I got to confess here that to this day, if I'm home alone and don't know the person who comes to my door, I don't answer or open the door. Apparently recently someone from my church was trying to return a borrowed item and remarked about it Sunday... confused because they "could see someone moving in the house". I remarked that it was most likely me, but simply said our doorbell doesn't work (it doesn't... just a faint... dong with no ding) and if I'm at the back of the house I can't hear a knock.

If I don't know you, I ain't coming to the door. Period. Reading this... I'll try to have the presence of mind to offer to call 911... but if I'm alone, I'm not gonna fall for this ploy.

 

[Kintsugi]

Hell, Alba, I don't answer my phone if I don't know who it is, because I assume it's a lunatic from my past trying to reach me in the devious ways they do.

If someone knocks and I don't recognize it, I lock the second lock, secure the bat, and ask who it is. I almost beat the hell out of my housemate because I woke up to hearing someone in the house, and my housemates should have been at work. I just suddenly woke to footsteps and leaped out of bed with the bat I keep next to my pillow at the ready. Then I realized it was 6pm and I had slept straight through their shifts. >.<

My mother always told me to never open the door if I heard a crying baby. some psycho near our town was using a recording to lure women from their houses. How sick.

(((((((SRain))))) I think this thread has been viewed so many times and responded to so little because, like me, no one has words for you. (((((((SRain)))))))

 

[intothelight]

Rain,

It is perfectly normal to be angry that someone hurt your friend. Just reading this raised my blood pressure as people have a right to be safe, but that isn't always the reality.

Your doing all the things a friend can do, just by being there.

Debbie

 

[Crl1983]

I'm sorry that happened to your friend, and I'm sorry you are going through what you are. You are a good friend for being there for her in this tough time. I'm so tired of sick bastards thinking they can go around and hurt whomever they want to! One can't even feel safe in his/her own home anymore! This is making my blood boil. I hope they catch the guy soon, let us know if they do! I am glad she called the police, and when they catch him she can testify and put that sick bastard where he belongs.

 

[Srain]

Thank you all, yesterday was horrible, my Migraines are killing me still and the vomiting is still hard to control. I did call the emergency mental health hotline because I just needed to talk to someone :cry: this is just too close to home. I tried to take my sleep meds and rest but just when I would fall asleep I would hear noises outside.

[DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/members/misera1013.9106/"]Misera[/DLMURL], I can surely understand you doing that and then feeling that way. I have done things like that many times. I have also been the victim of crime in the middle of the day with people all around watching so it's hard not to feel like it's my fault when I know it's not. I try to be diligent without being paranoid but it's a tough line.

Anyway, thank you all for your thoughts and kindness. She was sleeping when I called. I'll try her again today after I see my tdoc.

hugs,
Rain

 

[Srain]

I meant to say that I was VERY PROUD OF HER for doing what she did. I didn't proof read what I wrote. I am still pretty triggered out. I'm so very sorry.