I Can Do This... I Think.

[Jules0408]

I recently started talking to a new guy and so far, I feel like its going well. I'm trying not to think about it ending or anything, trying to enjoy it. In the back of my mind I find myself wondering if I can actually handle it because I usually run after a while. I'm still healing from the other guy and don't want to get hurt again but I know, I can't just hide away and hope that a good guy will come around. I know if I want to stop the hurting from the other guy I have to get out there and find someone who will treat me a hell of a lot better than he did. Plus it will help me get over the whole "being scared of guys".

*deep breath*

 

[Gryffy]

Good luck! I hope it goes well. We all deserve to have love in our lives. Getting out there and finding it can be scary and challenging, but worth it in the end.

One request though? If you know you have a tendency to suddenly "run," please be fair to him in the process. I'm here because I unknowingly dated someone in your position and unfortunately she was not fair to me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

So rebounding is your answer? What about learning to be ok by yourself instead of putting so much stock into guys?

 

[Viosinger]

I agree to some extent with @Solara. I had a tendency to begin and end relationships/boyfriends/etc quickly, but often I also realized I was leaving relationships that didn't fit or work. I don't regret getting out there and at least trying. But I realize now I could've perhaps been a bit more discerning and honest about who I wanted to be with.

If you're with him because you want to be (and fears are okay... It's tough to let your vulnerability be out there in the process), great! If you're with him just to get over someone else, it's not fair to him (as @Gryffy pointed out).

 

[Jules0408]

I will be open with him when the time comes for that. We're just talking at the moment, no mention of relationships and such. The other guy and I never dated - it was just a fling that started and ended pretty quick. I just don't want that to happen again.

 

[Viosinger]

I hear you. Mostly, you sound at the least hopeful and at the most very happy :-) neither sounds terrible.