S
someone_whatever
I really don't know what to do anymore.
I decided to finally seek psychiatric help last year. I wish I hadn't. I don't know if the mental health sistem in my country is that bad or I was just unfortunate to find the worst doctors on the planet, but what I can tell you is that I'm in a far worse place now than I was in before I went to the hospital the first time. The abuse I went to at the hands of doctors is so horrifying that it's not even believable! I have seen horror films that are less scary than what I went through. I truly feel like the world's most traumatised person! I can't function. I dropped out of college. All I do now is eat the pain away and look for relatively painless ways to kill myself. I don't know how to get through this!!! I feel like I can't. I also feel like I'm the weakest and most pathetic human to have ever existed. People like me should be killed right on the spot. I am not worthy of any sort of respect and I have no dignity left, whatsoever. How can I, after I've been treated worse than some stray dog are?
How am I supposed to feel comfortable seeking help now? How am I supposed to trust people? How can I feel like there's any hope left for me, that I can lead a life that is not full of emotional suffering?
I decided to finally seek psychiatric help last year. I wish I hadn't. I don't know if the mental health sistem in my country is that bad or I was just unfortunate to find the worst doctors on the planet, but what I can tell you is that I'm in a far worse place now than I was in before I went to the hospital the first time. The abuse I went to at the hands of doctors is so horrifying that it's not even believable! I have seen horror films that are less scary than what I went through. I truly feel like the world's most traumatised person! I can't function. I dropped out of college. All I do now is eat the pain away and look for relatively painless ways to kill myself. I don't know how to get through this!!! I feel like I can't. I also feel like I'm the weakest and most pathetic human to have ever existed. People like me should be killed right on the spot. I am not worthy of any sort of respect and I have no dignity left, whatsoever. How can I, after I've been treated worse than some stray dog are?
How am I supposed to feel comfortable seeking help now? How am I supposed to trust people? How can I feel like there's any hope left for me, that I can lead a life that is not full of emotional suffering?
