I Dont Know

[Daisy001]

Hi all,
I've never done this before. I started seeing a therapist about 4-5 yrs ago. I have been working on "issues" and occasionally do EMDR. It gets too intense if I do it too often. I have never diagnosed myself with having PTSD and my therapist has never really comes out and said "you have PTSD". I often ask if I am crazy as I share what is going on with my head and physical reactions and she assures me that I am not and my thoughts, experiences and reactions are in line with PTSD. I feel like my experiences are "not as bad" as people who are diagnosed with PTSD or that I am just a big baby and there are others in the world that have it way worse than me but I can see the reactions on peoples faces when they hear some of my story. I still dont get it. My life was the way it was and it was normal to me. I blotted a lot out.
Sorry for the rambling. I recently spoke with a man who described so many of the same things I felt and thought and I couldn't believe how comforting it was to find someone else who thought and felt the same as me. I cannot tell you how many times I got strange looks for the things I said or how I react to things. I thought maybe I could meet others on-line that can relate. I realize now how lonely it can be in my head and body. Maybe I am not alone it how I am.

 

[Ian Vp]

Hi Daisy,

You are definitely not alone, if you look through this site you will see people with experiences you can relate to. I dont think that there is really any scale that you can talk about to say that one persons experiences are worse than anothers. By that I dont mean to offend anyone becasue I know that some people have had to endure some pretty horendous things but you need to consider that it is about how you have coped with your individual circumstance and that you have developed PTSD or similar symptoms as a result. It isnt a competition to see who has endured the most so dont be so hard on yourself.
There are plenty of people here to help you along your journey. Welcome and I wish you all the best.

 

[Daisy001]

Thank you so much.

<It is not necessary to quote the post directly above reply. Amethist>

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes you are definitely not alone.

And I do the same - think my stuff is not as bad as other people's experiences.

I hope you find lots of help here.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Hi Daisy,

Welcome to the forum! It sounds to me like your therapist does indeed give you a diagnosis of PTSD with her comment that you are not crazy and that your symptoms are in line with someone who has PTSD. It may be a preliminary diagnosis and other things may be added or removed as therapy moves on, but for now I'd say PTSD is very likely.

I also agree with everyone above that this is not about who experienced the worst type of trauma. Trauma is trauma and it affects all people differently. It depends on life stages, what kinds of protective systems you have in place, what other risk factors you may have had in your life, etc...

You are definitely in good company here and I hope that you find this forum as helpful as I find it.

I look forward to getting to know you better.

Take care!

 

[Froggie]

Hello Daisy and welcome to the forum,

This would be an interesting question to clearly ask you therapist : Do I or do I not have PTSD. As Deaf Global Nomad pointed out, she did comment that your symptoms are in line with someone who does have PTSD. I also agree that no matter the source of the trauma, if it caused PTSD, well it's bad. There are so many factors that evolve around traumas that some break a person, that's it, that's all. There's no contest here on who had the worst trauma. This forum has a great peer support system that we all need and deserve. Take care and keep us posted.