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Death I feel cursed

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Made a lot of progress today.

Well I am relieved! I hope you the new therapist is a good fit.

I'm glad your husband was there with you and being your advocate. I know it shouldn't make a difference but sometimes two people carry more weight than one. Especially when things have gone wrong.

I suppose the important thing to remember is the psych nurse was conducting a triage and would not have had the resources to see you again so telling your entire story yourself might not have been the point of the exercise at that time. I'm so glad she was able to recommend a new therapist where you will be able to tell what happened.

When will you know?
 
I don't know when I will find out, but I'll be in close communication with them over the few weeks as labwork, genesight testing, sleep study and MRI are done and results come in. So massive flip. Strange so strange
 
Ok boy, where do I begin? So not only no new therapist. Since it the same company, no Dr. now either. Been in cold turkey Benzo withdrawal since I posted this. I have been under what my what a woman at the addiction treatment center called straight out abuse. Yes, I went there desperate to get help because no medical provider would touch me as soon as Benzo withdrawal was mentioned. They can't treat me, I don't meet certain requirements but the lady urged me to climb the chain of command filling complaints.

Is part of this my fault? Sure. I take responsibility for what I did with my medication. There was a few nights there I was sure I was deaths door. I had no clue before now that you could have a day where you felt you were out of the danger zone only to be right back in there, slightly less severe, the next.

All this suffering is just adding to the fuel to take this so called therapist down. Hey, guess what? She migh have accidentaly helped with somthing other therapists could achive. I don't feel anger when I should, I internalize the primary emotion instead. I think I am finally starting to be able to move from primary emotion to the secondary emotion of anger.
 
Are you safe, physically?

I mean, handling it / with enough ways to call yourself help if you need it immediately?

(Also bit tempted to ask what sort of addiction treatment center they are if they are not able to help a person going through a withdrawal but, uh, not a primary concern, more worried if you are (and are going to be) helped with issues.)
 
I actually had zero ways to call or get help for the worst of it. My phone was and still is disconnected because I am behind on bills due to the accident. Can still call 911 and I have wifi for internet access on my phone. When my husband was at work during the the most dangerous part was terrifying, but I am pretty sure I am past the life threatening part now. I am 9 days out now and I think I'm through the worst of it.

With the center, I wanted out patient help without being put into their 90 detox unit. I should have explained better that I didn't qualify for their outpatient treatment and no way was I going into a 90 day detox unit full of people who would trigger me.

9 days may not sound like much but it feels like eons for me. During the worst of it I was told to stop wasting e. r. resources and told to stop going there. No, I am not going to be getting help, and not for a lack of trying.

I slept for a whole 4 hour stretch this morning too which gave me a huge boost and some relief.

Thank you for caring. It means so much. Going through this sucks and would be easier with help, but I have to put faith in myself to get me through this and not the medical profession now. I looked up how to make my own redehydration fluid, and am drinking herbal teas. Again thank you.
 
I am 9 days out now and I think I'm through the worst of it.

So ten today, cheers on. :D (And fingers crossed so hard for health and smooth transitions.)

With the center, I wanted out patient help without being put into their 90 detox unit.

Are there, eventually, any other centers in the driving distance you could contact for later? I suppose will not be needed at that point, just thinking if they are the ONLY provider locally / or there may be others that you did not think of that might be worth the shot? (Cause it is easy to get tangled in a series of rejections, while the door are open elsewhere, just less visible. Not that you are doing that.)

During the worst of it I was told
Gee, sounds it really is not YOU who needs to worry about being cursed.

Some with bad time, some with bad character. :rollseyes:
So glad you are hanging on through, even with that awful treatment.

I slept for a whole 4 hour stretch
Counting wins. :)

I have to put faith in myself

Trusts well placed. :)
You will totally make it.
 
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