BlueWeepingRose
Silver Member
My own mother calls me crazy and bipolar a lot of the time. Especially when I cry, she's very loud and tends to freak out over the smallest things. My household isn't good for me and I want to get out. I'll post more about this in another thread.
I worry that someone close to me doesn't like me, cares about me or even loves me. -due to my mother telling me that "Nobody cares about you."
I even asked this person when I stayed at his house. "You don't like me do you..." He kept asking asking me, "Why are you saying that?" "Why are you thinking like that?"
Before he left his house I asked him, "You care about me right?" Again he said, "Yes I care about you. You know I do. I want you happy. I don't like seeing you upset."
Once he left to go to his job I cried because of his words. When I go back and tell my mother this and act happy she gets very quiet and says, "mhmm...."
I'm very sensitive at times. My feelings get hurt easily and I end up crying. People can joke around with me, I just sometimes get upset if I feel rejected by someone I love. This was by the person I was staying with and he understands me. I felt a little hurt when he didn't want to hug me because he was sweating from work. I ended up blowing it off because it was so big deal. After he washed up he ended up giving me a hug and kissed me. So that didn't really hurt me. One thing I guess I didn't understand was how he hates kissing in front of his house because cars pass by his house all the time and I was going to give him a passionate kiss and he said he's not very comfortable with PDA and because of the cars passing by and how sometimes cars pass by and beep at him.
Guess I ended up getting overly upset and I ended up feeling horrible in the end once I snapped at him after he was telling me, "I'm sorry if you're hurt or if you thought I was coming down hard on you-" I ended up blowing up and within a few minutes I felt horrible because we were arguing over something so small and I realized how I blew everything up out of proportion and I hate how sometimes I over react without thinking and just getting mad over small things. I feel like such a horrible person right now to be honest with you.
He didn't make me feel bad or anything, I ended up feeling horrible because he was being so nice towards me and I blew up at him. Could tell he was a little upset and angry a little bit too by the way I shouted at him. In the end I rested my hand on his shoulder and said very calmly, "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. Please forgive me. I don't want to fight on my last night here before I have to go back home." He softened up the look on his face and glanced at me and nodded his head.
There was another time we were playing around and I said a statement how he jokes around me a lot and I mentioned how my family does this to me too. The more I thought about it though, I know my friend who cares about me jokes around me with a lot. He even calls me bro being funny. I thought of how my family does it to be cruel and my he does it to just joke around. He looked at me and said, "I always try to joke with you, you just always feel like I'm trying to hurt you. I'm not." I thought deeply inside of my head and then out of nowhere I hugged him and kissed his cheek. In the end I told him, "You'd never try to hurt me and I'm sorry for always thinking you're always trying to hurt me."
He's someone who knows me the best out of any one else and knows all my deepest darkest secrets and he told me two weeks ago that he doesn't think I'm crazy. I just had a horrible things happen to me in my past. He always see's me when I'm upset, crying, feeling angry because I'm sensitive at times after the abuse I've been through, when I feel sorry for myself and when I'm self hating myself at times and other days I actually feel quite good and I love myself. Than on my worst days I completely hate who I am. I just want to know that I'm not crazy and that people can relate with me. I'm so tired of this pain that I feel inside....
I worry that someone close to me doesn't like me, cares about me or even loves me. -due to my mother telling me that "Nobody cares about you."
I even asked this person when I stayed at his house. "You don't like me do you..." He kept asking asking me, "Why are you saying that?" "Why are you thinking like that?"
Before he left his house I asked him, "You care about me right?" Again he said, "Yes I care about you. You know I do. I want you happy. I don't like seeing you upset."
Once he left to go to his job I cried because of his words. When I go back and tell my mother this and act happy she gets very quiet and says, "mhmm...."
I'm very sensitive at times. My feelings get hurt easily and I end up crying. People can joke around with me, I just sometimes get upset if I feel rejected by someone I love. This was by the person I was staying with and he understands me. I felt a little hurt when he didn't want to hug me because he was sweating from work. I ended up blowing it off because it was so big deal. After he washed up he ended up giving me a hug and kissed me. So that didn't really hurt me. One thing I guess I didn't understand was how he hates kissing in front of his house because cars pass by his house all the time and I was going to give him a passionate kiss and he said he's not very comfortable with PDA and because of the cars passing by and how sometimes cars pass by and beep at him.
Guess I ended up getting overly upset and I ended up feeling horrible in the end once I snapped at him after he was telling me, "I'm sorry if you're hurt or if you thought I was coming down hard on you-" I ended up blowing up and within a few minutes I felt horrible because we were arguing over something so small and I realized how I blew everything up out of proportion and I hate how sometimes I over react without thinking and just getting mad over small things. I feel like such a horrible person right now to be honest with you.
He didn't make me feel bad or anything, I ended up feeling horrible because he was being so nice towards me and I blew up at him. Could tell he was a little upset and angry a little bit too by the way I shouted at him. In the end I rested my hand on his shoulder and said very calmly, "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. Please forgive me. I don't want to fight on my last night here before I have to go back home." He softened up the look on his face and glanced at me and nodded his head.
There was another time we were playing around and I said a statement how he jokes around me a lot and I mentioned how my family does this to me too. The more I thought about it though, I know my friend who cares about me jokes around me with a lot. He even calls me bro being funny. I thought of how my family does it to be cruel and my he does it to just joke around. He looked at me and said, "I always try to joke with you, you just always feel like I'm trying to hurt you. I'm not." I thought deeply inside of my head and then out of nowhere I hugged him and kissed his cheek. In the end I told him, "You'd never try to hurt me and I'm sorry for always thinking you're always trying to hurt me."
He's someone who knows me the best out of any one else and knows all my deepest darkest secrets and he told me two weeks ago that he doesn't think I'm crazy. I just had a horrible things happen to me in my past. He always see's me when I'm upset, crying, feeling angry because I'm sensitive at times after the abuse I've been through, when I feel sorry for myself and when I'm self hating myself at times and other days I actually feel quite good and I love myself. Than on my worst days I completely hate who I am. I just want to know that I'm not crazy and that people can relate with me. I'm so tired of this pain that I feel inside....
