I feel so goddamn alone

[notdoneyet]

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've been online here because well honestly I felt like for once my life was going great, I felt happy and safe in my relationship and things just seemed to work out for once.

But as I am back again I guess it's obvious this didn't last.

I feel so damn alone and isolated, I just really don't know who to talk to, found out stuff about my partner who did so much to help me feel like I could trust him helped me so much in general so it hurts so much more than if it would've been just another shitty relationship.

So yeah.

If anyone is idk up to talk, willing to listen, I could really really use a friend right now.

Ty to anyone who reads this and decides to reach out

 

[Friday]

Sorry things have gone sideways. Even the best relationships are often huge stress…kaBOOM…on PTSD. What’s been going on?

 

[notdoneyet]

Well so there were some lies that came out, serious ones and I just don't know how to go on

 

[Friday]

We all have our own limits.

Personally? I have a quirky/highly individualized line with lying; fun lies & work lies I DGAF about, but I don’t tolerate any other kinds of lies (white/cowardly/etc.). Each of us? Are relatively unique in our soft and hard limits. If someone you love crosses a hard limit? Or has crossed so many soft limits you’re choking on them? It’s an intensely painful process. Because you still love them, but? They’ve crossed the line. Which leaves the ball in your court. To either change, or change. Your limits or your life.

Where are you at?

 

[notdoneyet]

Well I guess in the end it doesn't matter because he kept me away for a week or so then broke up VIA MESSAGE while still spewing shit about loving me and not wanting to lose me in the same message aaaaand then completely ghosted me

It's been a few weeks now and in that time some other traumatic stuff happened (I don't know what I'm allowed to say here but it had to do with a friend who wanted to "be there" after the break up and ended with me shaking in his bathroom)

By complete chance I met someone and while I do feel ready to move on, the way the break up went cranked up my abandonment issues, paranoia and insecurities to 11 and I'm just so goddamn anxious all the time now

 

[Friday]

it doesn't matter because he kept me away for a week or so then broke up VIA MESSAGE

How old are you two?

By complete chance I met someone and while I do feel ready to move on

I guess that doesn’t really matter? A week both ends and fixes things. Cool?

Seriously… how old are you? 12, 15, 60? I ask this for my own personal, being the QUEEN of “the best way over one man is under another” mindset, I’m just still fixated on the bad WEEK, bit. Under 20? Over? My money is under, unless you have some serious CSA locking you in teenager land, at best. Where a week is a lifetime. A week? Really? And moving on. Not wrong, again, Queen of. Just rather mind blown by the timeframe, & oomph involved.

 

[Rose White]

serious CSA locking you in teenager land, at best. Where a week is a lifetime

Oof. Felt that. Yay small parts *waves tiny flag*

“the best way over one man is under another”

*sigh* … Let me know when you open registration for your next Boot Camp for Bad Bitches, would you please?

Side note: I did find out today that some people consider women who use dating apps to be whoring around. But I mean… was there ever a time when women weren’t seen as whores (by at least half the population) just for existing? Oh yeah— 100,000 to 6,000 years ago

Anyway… not to distract from the thread.

 

[notdoneyet]

How old are you two?


I guess that doesn’t really matter? A week both ends and fixes things. Cool?

Seriously… how old are you? 12, 15, 60? I ask this for my own personal, being the QUEEN of “the best way over one man is under another” mindset, I’m just still fixated on the bad WEEK, bit. Under 20? Over? My money is under, unless you have some serious CSA locking you in teenager land, at best. Where a week is a lifetime. A week? Really? And moving on. Not wrong, again, Queen of. Just rather mind blown by the timeframe, & oomph involved.

Uhm I didn't say any of that I said it's been a couple weeks aka about a month at the point I responded, the week he kept me away was BEFORE the break up.

In our 30s and it's not my fault he's a immature prick who can't communicate if his life depended on it.

And I dont like that you're making assumptions like that, I haven't had a single rebound in my entire life I'm demi ffs, if I meet someone that I click with I stick with but okay.