Sufferer I get triggered by my spouse

[BeCalm]

Your post seems to reflect my lovely man who I am estranged from. He flinched when I raised my hand to scratch my face, he doesn't like people coming up behind him, even an unexpected touch makes him freeze, the last hurt was when we went to bed for the second time and he clung to the edge of the bed as far as he could get from me. I asked what was wrong and he said he didnt want any 'confrontation'. Since then he has distanced himself from me, from texting every day it stopped completely, he said he was always angry and needed to be by himself to cope with his anxiety. This is now May. Since last November he came off his medication and is not receiving therapy of any kind, saying he does not like the side effects. I still love him but cannot have a relationship with him without itriggering his anxiety and anger, which comes out in hurtful remarks. It broke my heart but your post shows me that he really does have CPTSD, very much like yours. Your post shows me that there is hope and there is definitely help. I am so glad you and your spouse are seeking help, it really does sounds like CPTSD, please don't lose your loved one like I have, look for a trauma counsellor and read books on self help, all I can do is send self help books to my 'ex' - during a brief visit he said he was recognising 'triggers' and has decided to go back on his medication again. Whether we can ever be together again I don't know, perhaps the hiatus in our relationship has changed his feelings permanently.

Thank you for sharing your story; it helps me to simply know I am not alone, even in the midst of pain. And I'm glad to hear that your 'ex' is now coming around and seeking ways to deal with the trauma. I hope that whatever comes in the future, in the very least you will get closure and peace.

 

[Roland]

Welcome to the forum, sorry you're having a rough time. I also recently got married, and have cptsd. It's hard sigh. But you'll likely find this forum to be very helpful, I know I have. Best of luck to you.