Friends, I share wonderful news: I have been accepted to the University of Alabama - Birmingham with a Presidential Recognition scholarship (tuition and fees) and an invitation to the Honors College!! I am beyond ecstatic. This is such a great step forward. It's hard to think that just a few months ago, I was hospitalized for attempting suicide, and that the nurses and doctors and other patients told me that I would basically never surmount to anything, and that my mental illnesses are so debilitating that I would never be able to obtain a college education. And I honestly believed them. I really thought that my PTSD would stop me from succeeding and moving forward. But now here I am, with this incredible scholarship and an opportunity for the future when I had basically given up on living not four months ago. I'm thinking that maybe I can really become a doctor and work abroad like I've always dreamed, and that my PTSD won't stop me from doing what I want in my life.
Things seem to be looking up in general. Although my symptoms have not disappeared, they have been significantly reduced by the Prozac and Asendin, and I am going to start EMDR next week. I managed to sit down and write about one of my traumas for the first time without having a panic attack. For the first time in years, I have this feeling that maybe I really can beat PTSD.
But I also know that this is, for all intents and purposes, a temporary occurrence. I've had these short periods of elation and lessened anxiety that make me think that I'm somehow, miraculously, cured; but I know, realistically, I have a long way to go. At some point in the next few weeks I'm going to crash pretty hard, but for now, I'm going to try my best to enjoy this episode and live it out as long as I can. But like I said, for the first time ever, I feel like I can overcome PTSD, and that's a huge step forward.
I hope everyone is doing well! xo
Things seem to be looking up in general. Although my symptoms have not disappeared, they have been significantly reduced by the Prozac and Asendin, and I am going to start EMDR next week. I managed to sit down and write about one of my traumas for the first time without having a panic attack. For the first time in years, I have this feeling that maybe I really can beat PTSD.
But I also know that this is, for all intents and purposes, a temporary occurrence. I've had these short periods of elation and lessened anxiety that make me think that I'm somehow, miraculously, cured; but I know, realistically, I have a long way to go. At some point in the next few weeks I'm going to crash pretty hard, but for now, I'm going to try my best to enjoy this episode and live it out as long as I can. But like I said, for the first time ever, I feel like I can overcome PTSD, and that's a huge step forward.
I hope everyone is doing well! xo
