I just need a safe place to vent this.
This weekend, I graduated from law school with a juris doctor degree. This is a goal I have worked toward for well over a decade since I wasn't able to attend following undergrad. I worked pretty damned hard.
Like others, our law school's graduation ceremony was not traditional this year because of COVID-19. But, we did have a virtual ceremony online. I watched it alone. No one in my family watched it with me or remotely--not even my wife. Worse, she did not let my son watch it with me either. I watched as the comments rolled by from family members of my classmates, feeling pretty invisible and un-cared for.
What makes it worse is that when I graduated from high school and from undergrad, no one acknowledged it. I couldn't attend either of those ceremonies because I didn't have the money to pay for the cap & gown and other necessary things. And no one even said congratulations. When I was finally able to go to law school, I thought that this would be the time to replace those awful memories and make something new! My wife knows how much it hurt me that no one acknowledged my prior achievements. But she did this anyway. And now she wants to act like it's no big deal. she didn't even apologize until I told her what I would have said if I were her--then she just parroted the words back to me.
I wanted my son to see that the work I did paid off, that I had accomplished something big, and that he could too one day, and I would celebrate with him. But, now I feel like if I tell him how I feel and that he missed my graduation, he will only be upset. He is 6.
I have been looking forward to this day for so long. Even more so since the COVID-19 thing, because it actually gave me something to look forward to. But, it turned out to be an awful day that I will not be able to forget.