I Have A Good Session, Feel Better, Then Think Of Awful Things :(

[Leah123]

Does anyone else ever have the problem of having a good, helpful, reassuring session, and then feeling safe enough to deal with something more dangerous, heavy and scary right away/too fast?

It seems like every day I have a lighter, helpful session with my therapist, I'm filled with insight and suddenly have the strength (or is it stupidity?) to remember something scarier/harder. I can't seem to just let things rest, to enjoy the feeling of coasting from a good session.

It's kind of like massage. I've been getting them monthly as part of my self-care to deal with stress. I love the massages, but sometimes, my anxiety comes back pretty fast, and I feel disappointed and sad.

I don't know if I'm making progress, or making things worse dwelling on the hardest issues?
Like today, I talked about sleep issues, tried to focus on the present, on a practical fix, which is really good and helped a lot, but later, they led to me thinking about feeling powerless during some scary situations when I was younger, so I wrote my therapist about that. I hope she doesn't get sick of me getting triggered/bothered by these things.... like I just can't.... let go.

Anyone relate or have any help? I'd so appreciate hearing from you.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Do you have a way to ground yourself when you get triggered? When I first started therapy, I was triggered all the time. It was a horrid experience. I then remembered an exercise I used to do to help me be in the present. I would pick a color and then try to find it in my environment. I would continue doing this until I felt present. It worked amazingly well for me.

 

[Leah123]

Thanks for replying monster.

Um, sometimes I can feel grounded, and sometimes, the last two weeks, I've been struggling with dissociation again, which scares the bejezus out of me.

I tried that sort of type of technique, paying attention to my environment, but... seems like it doesn't help me.

I've been finding sometimes that tea helps, music, eating, um, sometimes exercise, chanting, and I found even taking my pulse helps some. I do have some scents that can help, too but... sometimes nothing seems to help, I feel very overwhelmed.

I just don't know how, or if, I should turn off the switch that leads to deeper insights and bigger more fearful topics. Seems like feeling better about one thing, I'm making room to tackle something bigger, which is good, but I'm afraid to overwhelm my therapist, and I'm afraid to be so intense, all the time, that I might not be helping myself. At the same time though, I wish to honor my own pace, and just try and work through things as they come up.