I Have Learned to Trust Myself... (Mostly)

[Artista]

I had noticed a thread I began on taking meds brought out something in me... something good. A realization.

I have, largely due to battling this trauma, realized i know me better than ever and have begun to really trust myself again. HUGE accomplishment for any of us who have had all the shame, mistrust and guilt-ridden panic moments that overwhelm. Now, I am not always feeling trustworthy(we are human). Yet, I can say I am more so than ever in my life!!! I have always said it was one of the things stripped away when you are demeaned and made to feel less than worthy of life. I can see the roots of it coming back. Stronger than they ever were. I guess whacking it away just made it grow back with a vengeance in many aspects of how I live now.

Recognizing any step you have made to trust yourself, I think is vastly important. I hope others are seeing this as a big victory in their lives. No matter how small, if we stand true to ourself, we have won a little ground towards healing and being more than a survivor but victorious in the aftermath of something we didn't ask for. Any little bit you can see improve is soooo meaningful. Pile them up... there may be more of them than you think! Feels good to write this. Good to feel it... will be the best when I live it more completely! It will come. Bad days of self doubt, will be there and are for any living human being. I will choose to only count the good ones! After all, isn't it true, we recall the bad too easily and let it overshadow the work that is admirable.

Affirmations are better! Like such:
I will gain trust in myself.
I will live by my boundaries.
I will see what it is that is good.
F*** the bad... at least for today!

 

[AdamAnt]

F*** the bad...at least for today!

hip hip hooray!:)

 

[Iam]

Thanks Amethist! This is so true and what I have been trying to live again, at least in these last few weeks!

 

[seedling]

This is a wonderful post, Artista. Savor the moment :)

I posted recently that in getting over this I get to be me. I think you said some things I was trying to express by saying that.

I realized that I know me better than anyone else, even when I'm lost in it all. I can trust that part of myself to guide me if I remember to listen.

 

[Jline]

I agree, we have had trust broken in the most severe ways.... we need to learn to love and trust ourselves again and move forward. Communication with others is important but it is even more important to have good communication with ourselves there by improving our skills when dealing with others and our sometimes very tough days. It seems we are hardest on ourselves in this battle so that must mean we also need to be the most gentle and loving to ourselves to have a balance. Great thread Artista and good to hear :)

 

[Artista]

Even though I haven't had energy... I feel a bit stronger in mind. I was happy to share this. So hoping is flows into everyone to see whatever good there is!!! Some days we do just have to give the hell more hell back by allowing no power its way! : ) Appreciate your views all ways.