I keep repeating things

[Justmehere]

Someone in a position of some power over me is being a bit of a - - h -le. The situation sort of falls into workplace bullying / mild sexual harassment / ablism.

Not trauma.

It’s enough though that PTSD is triggered. I’m jumpy, can’t sleep, etc. He does things my stalker used to do.

The worst part is something that doesn’t make sense to me.

I keep obsessing about it. I keep repeating. My head is in a loop and it is hell. It is really hard for me to not compulsively try to fix it all or take action and etc… and it’s a situation where right now, at least for the weekend, I need to do nothing about it. Good advice affirms this.

I need to do other things, think about other things, etc. But my mind is a hellish loop about this problem I can’t solve.

I have a counselor who is good, but not a trauma therapist or anyone who have much experience with things like this. I can’t find anyone who does. I’m not quite sure what I’m even looking for.

Does anything like this happen to anyone else?

 

[Sideways]

I shut my head down every night with guided relaxation tracks. And some nights it’s tracks plural.

Or exercise. You still swim?

 

[Justmehere]

A couple of illnesses have set me back swimming but I do get in the water and hope to be in the water longer. It’s hard. My head circles. It used to be a comfort. Now… it’s too much space. The one thing that helps is when I’m teaching classes. During that time, the loops stop. I have to engage students. The worst time is anytime I’m alone.

 

[Friday]

Does anything like this happen to anyone else?

Ruminating? Yep, yep!

The best ways to break out of it are similar to those for intrusive thoughts + panic/anxiety attacks; grounding, thought stoppage, stress management double down, self care double down, calling BS on cognitive distortions rather than running with them & spinning out even more, distraction, & exposure therapy.

Essentially? Treat ruminating like getting triggered.