I keep on dreaming about the guy that raped me

[Anonymous2265]

A little over a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone I thought was my friend. It destroyed me and my mental state was at an all time low. I think it's safe to say I never want anything to do with him again.

But a month ago, I kept on having these recurring dreams of him. Some were good dreams and some were bad. I don't understand why I have so many dreams with him in it, whether it's about him or not. But it makes me feel horrible. I'm in a happy relationship with someone and I almost never dream about him, but seeing that how I'm able to dream of the guy that severely messed me up just makes me feel ashamed.

I don't want to tell my s/o about this because I know he's totally take it the wrong way. So I found this website and I just wanna know if anyone else has had similar experiences as me or how I should go about this.

 

[Rose White]

I have dreams about my past abusers and they are not in my life. Usually it’s because my brain is trying to process some aspect of recovery of my self. Once I understand and process the lesson the dreams shift or go away. Are you seeing a professional? Sometimes that can help resolve whatever it is your body-brain is trying to work out quicker.

 

[Freddyt]

I have dreams about my past abusers and they are not in my life. Usually it’s because my brain is trying to process some aspect of recovery of my self.

Yes. Dreams and nightmares are significantly different in that dreams are your brain trying to solve problems - and nightmares are telling us something that our conscious brain can't deal with.
The nightmares if recurring can be a sign of problems you need professional help with. If this was one traumatic incident it can be healed more quickly than you might imagine.

Some of us who are here and talk about years etc, have a complex history of trauma and it takes a while to sort it all out. But a single event can be dealt with in weeks.

 

[arfie]

hello anon. welcome to the forum.

i don't place any mystical value on dreams, but i do hold them as valid indicators of what is going on in my subconscious. in my strictly personal dream interpretations, i take dreaming about my perps/abusers as a signal that i am ready to deal with the deeper issues attached. you mentioned you were on friendly terms with the perpetrator of your trauma. inside of my own herstory, the betrayal scenarios are the toughest to deal with. betrayal from somebody i cared about is a tougher trauma than a random crime from a stranger. the dreams are correspondingly more complex.

 

[Samurai718]

A little over a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone I thought was my friend. It destroyed me and my mental state was at an all time low. I think it's safe to say I never want anything to do with him again.

But a month ago, I kept on having these recurring dreams of him. Some were good dreams and some were bad. I don't understand why I have so many dreams with him in it, whether it's about him or not. But it makes me feel horrible. I'm in a happy relationship with someone and I almost never dream about him, but seeing that how I'm able to dream of the guy that severely messed me up just makes me feel ashamed.

I don't want to tell my s/o about this because I know he's totally take it the wrong way. So I found this website and I just wanna know if anyone else has had similar experiences as me or how I should go about this.

I had a similar experience quite a while ago, I also had a sexual assault from someone I didn't know. I got over pretty quickly from the latter but I think the friend affected me the most because I trusted him. I blamed myself for trusting him. In my experience, once I was able to forgive myself for trusting too much and being ok with that decision and understanding it wasn't my fault, I was able to get over the fear.

I think if you can't tell your spouse about the assault means you don't trust him? You deserve the support. Maybe you should go out on limb understanding you deserve that support. I don't know your situation but I feel like maybe this has something to do with guilt. You don't have to feel guilty. It's NOT YOUR FAULT.