I Need To Stop Abusing My Meds

[piratelady]

The emotional stuff will get better. Are there things you could be doing to occupy your time? That seems to be the advice I get most often from my therapist.

 

[The Albatross]

Hope your doing okay today SOL. Try to keep in mind that you were abusing the meds even while you were in the friendship... try not to give momentum to the thoughts that will drive you to use.

 

[JustBe]

I self medicate with food. Killing myself slowly. I think I've got it under control for now because food is distasteful to me, but I did have to throw away the bag of snickers I bought for Halloween trick or treaters just in case because I ate some.

Kind of not even close to the self medicating you're talking about...:bag:

 

[The Albatross]

SOL, scroll back up to your initial post as often as need be to keep yourself motivated. In AA many years ago, I was asked to write a list of my problems with booze and what the consequences were. One sponsor had me keep it in my pocket (and was insistent about having it with me). I was told to take it out and read it whenever I got the urge to drink. Keeping it in front of my face, was helpful. I hope it might help you too?

 

[Whitneys story]

SOL, I am elated to read your thread. Hold onto this new found courage. Allow yourself the strength and love you will find in yourself and own it!

"To Thine Own Self Be True", No one can do it for you, others can guide; but your action will bring you through! Behemoth Hugs, Whitney

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Thanks for all of your support....

Last night was rough....I cried myself to sleep, but I had good sleep. I was up as usual at 3am but at least it wasn't choppy.

And DAYUM for those pheromones! Ohhhh....I was downtown and there was this guy....he was sharply dressed, a lawyer I'm guessing (small town, only guys dressed that well work at the law firms near the courthouse)....we did one of those extended eye-lock things, not in one of those uncomfortable "I'm checking you out" sort of ways, rather it was hot! Damn, I really need to not stalk him (haha, kidding)....but his parking spot was assigned, not at one of the meters, so I know he works there, somewhere...) sigh... (lol, can you tell my PTSD has isolated me?!?)

So I'm doing better....I need to make that list!

 

[The Albatross]

Keep your eyes on the target SOL... and if need be, fall back and regroup. But I'm rooting for you, gal.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Thanks, Alby.

I know the drill. I need to fly solo for a bit. I hate jumping from dependency to dependency....whether it be a drug, a razor, or a person.

 

[Whitneys story]

I do everything.

This is why it is so important to have self/me time! We have to make time for us,
we are just; if not more important! Where will they be if we fall. Hugs to all, Whitney:hug:

 

[Whitneys story]

I know I have more to say, as I haven't said it all...but this is all I can muster for now.

You are wise to take baby steps through this. Trying to process to many emotions can be overwhelming and confusing.;)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Wise words Whitney, thank you.:D

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Today was a rough one. I don't even know where these dang emotions come from, but the ones i had today were so out of whack. I haven't been like that in a long time. I know it takes a long time for these stupid meds to completely get out of your system (and then there's the argument that they're never COMPLETELY gone). And I've heard that withdrawal symptoms (or whatever you want to call it) can spike as your body releases these stored meds as you are detoxing.

I was so tempted to just down a few Ativan and check out. Then I reasoned with myself that I could take the prescribed amount and be ok. But my sleep is so out of whack right now that I knew I couldn't risk making my nighttime sleep even worse, so I did without. Now I'm glad I resisted as it's almost bedtime and I'm fading quickly.