I Said The Wrong Thing...sigh

[Glara]

So my sufferer is in a depressive cycle, withdrawing but still making a point to check in with me. I went to a party last night but was feeling sad because of him. So I drank, a lot. And that's when he texted me. He told me something he was doing that we were supposed to do when I visited him. Normally I would have answered something like "glad you're getting out, have fun" but I was drunk. So I said " but I'm not with you, this sucks we still have to blah blah blah..." This made him feel bad. He was calling himself a failure because of everything that went wrong when I was there, and I know what I said made him feel bad again. I apologized twice, but he hasn't answered. Most of the time I think about what I say to him, but this time I didn't. This does suck.

 

[RussH]

I hope he contacts you soon, so that you can talk, and let him know everything is good between you two.

 

[Sighs]

:hug: if you accept them.

Try to be kind to yourself - you're human too - you can't always react perfectly to suit his PTSD. Sometimes your own emotions slip out.

 

[Glara]

@Sighs, I know. He's just in a really dark place right now, which is why I drank so much. He thinks he failed at my visit with him and I made him feel worse. I was really just wishing to be with him, but I know how he felt when he read it. Now I have no idea when I'll hear from him again...

 

[Wastinglight]

Try to be kind to yourself - you're human too - you can't always react perfectly to suit his PTSD. Sometimes your own emotions slip out.

Agreed. All this means is that you're a real person, with real wants, needs and viewpoints. Don't you dare beat yourself up about this. Accept what is, and move on. I read a comment by someone on this forum ages ago that said "Don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of PTSD". I think that applies here. You are doing your very best in a difficult situation. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself that no matter what happens you will be alright. Because you will.

 

[scout86]

@Glara, you might text him, or email him exactly what you said in that last post? Just a thought.

 

[Glara]

Still no word from him. I can't even talk about it.