Undiagnosed I Think I Have PTSD

[RubyBlue]

Self control is really important to get a handle on for yourself. A T can help with that, but they also don’t deserve to be abused because you refuse to try to control yourself.

 

[somerandomguy]

If being triggered leads you to being so verbally abusive that no one wants to deal with you, you're going to have to figure out ways to not get triggered if you want to get help. And it sounds like you really want help.

What triggers you? How can you avoid or work around these triggers?

 

[Friday]

I also have Aspergers

Have you worked with anyone who specializes in Aspies?

Because a lot of what you’re describing sounds very much like the kind of meltdowns common to both Aspergers & ADHD. It’s the sudden loss of impulse control coupled with massive overwhelm, both internal/external = cue meltdown! :inpain:

A lot of people with PTSD & BPD use Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT), which is a kind of emotional monitoring and regulation that only focuses on a very narrow spectrum of emotions and reactions/responses. Aspies & ADHD’ers & a few other disorders, meanwhile, have to do the whooooooooooole dang spectrum... because all emotions are both ginormous (compared to neurotypical people, whose normal emotions fade in and fade out at low levels I can’t really wrap my mind around, even though I can understand it intellectually); and have mad ninja skills (able to be silent and invisible, and stay completely out of the way, until they decide to spring out).

People who specialize in HFA/Aspies... like people who specialize in ADHD, IED, SPD, ODD, BPD, TBI with loss of impulse control, et cetera... are going to be far more dialed in to the best ways to both handle explosive outbursts & meltdowns specific to their disorders; AND the ways to teach the emotional monitoring & regulation most needed. They day in day out normal for specialists that would be completely outside the skill set of most general mental health practitioners & therapists.

Whilst there’s always some crossover... the exact same appearing symptom (like explosive bursts of rage)... often has different best ways of handling it, or layering in skills to handle it. As an example? One often finds martial arts to be super useful with ADHD & Aspies (for similar reasons), but there are very few worse ideas for people with ODD or unmanaged BPD. Conversely? Quiet rooms/Sensory dep are often phenom for HFA folk, and screaming mind breaking torture for ADHD peeps.

So I really cannot highly enough recommend finding people who specialize in both your known baseline (HFA/Aspergers) and further focus on explosive outbursts, impulse control, trauma, etc.

 

[Friday]

But I don’t get why it would be at everyone right off the bat.

because you refuse to try to control yourself.

Some disorders it has little to nothing to do with effort or desire. Either structurally or chemically, their neurology doesn’t allow for control.

A classic example would be along the lines of schizophrenic can’t just stop hearing voices because they don’t want to hear them, like someone with intrusive thoughts or obsessive thoughts can learn to stop listening or redirect; nor can someone with bipolar disorder back down a manic episode or mixed episode, the way someone with PTSD can back down a panic attack.

Autism creates a baseline neurology that is difficult & complex to work with... in no small part because it’s such a HUGE spectrum, where the things one person with HFA can easily control, or learn to control with difficulty, another it’s completely out of their purview. Add in things like trauma &/or other comorbid disorders? <low whistle> PTSD is relatively simple/straightforward. A lot of other disorders are fiendishly complex/complicated to work with.

I don’t know if any disorder rhat cant be worked with? BPD used to be considered such, but now has wicked successful interventions & treatments. The Catch22 is that the symptoms themselves of many disorders can make it reeeeeeally hard to seek treatment... to even find out what’s actually out of control, and needs some kind of assistance (like meds), and what can be learned when it’s taught the right way.

 

[playingvideogames]

No this is a monster way way beyond me if I could control why would I be wasting your time or mine on this forum trying to figure this out. I one time did back when I live in California call a add center they had there for help and see what they could do told them the problem and the nature of the verbal vomit and they told me that they where not equipped to handle someone like me there. I read a lot on add or in my case adhd unmedicated. I also seen this meltdowns talk about and seen them in my research but every where I have gone does not look at any of this the abuse the autism or the adhd because usually have the symptoms before we even can get threw the intake and once the happens\.
I remember I went threw a three hour intake to a mental health clinic in california and after the intake was over I called them back a week later to only be told in their opinion there was nothing wrong with me and started to go off on the lady on the phone. She said sir you cant come here if your going to act like that and I said lady if I could help acting like this I wouldnt need to come here. Everywhere I go I get simliar respones and having people tell me to not act so sick and I am like this is as dumb as only going to the doctor when you are perfectly healthy.
I mean when I go off it is not nice things and because of going off I have been chased beat up and put the hospital many many times and still yet I do it again you tell what part of that sounds like I have a mother loving choice in this ?

 

[RubyBlue]

What part of the intake process is so triggering you go haywire?

 

[joeylittle]

@playingvideogames - I hear you. It's really hard in the US to get good mental health support, especially as an itinerant adult.

You said you move around a lot, and try and stay off the grid...how is your financial situation for medical care, and are you insured? Lack of money and/or insurance can be a real barrier - so, I'm wondering what your resources are, that'll probably help folks give you more specific advice.

And, do you have medical records from your Autism diagnosis?

 

[playingvideogames]

Nope good with the little I get and I am able to do just fine. Got good at taking care of basic needs as a traveler with a very small income. Also always had health insurance so none of this has too do with that.

 

[RubyBlue]

What I would suggest at this point:

Find a DBT course to start reading through and practicing on your own.

Identify what it is about the intake process or therapists that is triggering you.

Use DBT to work to overcome that trigger.

Contact a therapist in your area preferably familiar with ADD, ADHD, and the Autism spectrum.

Utilize every ounce of self control and knowledge you get from DBT to get through the first couple of sessions with that therapist to get a feel for if they can help you or not.

It may take a few tries.

 

[playingvideogames]

ok if your going to use acronyms at least spell them out so I know what your talking about and I can search for them better on google

 

[RubyBlue]

Sure, DBT is dialectical behavior therapy. I’m sure you know the other two but just in case attention deficit disorder and attention deficit hyperactive disorder.

 

[playingvideogames]

thanks but is that there a spot where to get dbt information for free