I think i really embarrassed myself in therapy today :(

[WillowMay]

Hi everyone, I'm 20 years old (21 soon) and I'm in therapy trying to deal with issues I have relating to my childhood sexual abuse.

Anyway, today we got to talking about my feelings around the memories and I said that one of those feelings was unintelligence. My therapist was curious about this so I said that at school I had not attended health education nor did I do biology and nobody explained anything about how the human body works to me. I know some terms and I know what other terms can relate to but I don't know what they specifally mean.

As a concrete example I said I didn't know what "ovulating" means. So she explained to me what it was which for some reason embarrassed me a lot.

I'm also worried though that she's going to think I'm messing with her because even I know that the majority of people my age know what it means :(

Sorry for the long post but I'd really appreciate anyone's opinion x

 

[Ivi]

I can understand why you'd feel embarrassment but I'm sure your T doesn't think you're messing with her. You explained that you didn't know what these terms mean and why you didn't learn these things. It's perfectly fine.
I literally had to tell my 30 year old partner the other day about how menstrual cycles actually work so it's not uncommon either.

 

[Lucycat]

It is not silly at all. There is no reason to be embarrassed either - sometimes there is a reason why victims of childhood sexual abuse don't know things - the abuser may not want you to know and tries to keep you in ignorance.

Anyway, you can google puberty to find more specific information or buy a book if you prefer text. There are lots out there and it is important that you understand what is going on in your own and other people's bodies. I am glad your therapist was so understanding.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Haha don't worry about it! Awesome that you asked!! I have a hard time asking and just Google things later. I sometimes think I don't know really obvious things. Omg so an example. My mom never really helped me with makeup so I did it once style and was never really sure how to do it so I VERY recently went to Sephora and just asked for help. That was really embarrassing but screw it. Beats not knowing, right?

 

[mrsps]

It maybe embarrassing for you but my guess is it wont be for your T. It is good that she happily explained it to you. I to get embarrassed when talking about stuff like this with my T as well. She just takes it all in her stride and never makes me feel dumb or anything. It is good to be able to talk about stuff like this with your T especially if it was not talked about with your family.

 

[blueangel371115]

I was worried about similar judgement from my T and I flat out told her. She said that she's not here to judge me but to remove my burdens from my shoulders. She's there to help. I'm sure your T has heard all kinds of things. This probably isn't the first time she's encountered something like this. People come from all walks of life and educational backgrounds.