I Tried Really Hard Not To Return Here But Here It Goes..

[bell]

@J_trustno1, to be honest, the fact that you continue to blame everyone for what's happening to you and then extend that and say it's based on self hatred and then extend that to me saying you are "the worst person here" and that that will "make everyone happy," just shows outright how you are not in the best place to be interviewing.

Why not take the time to go to therapy and do some volunteering? Yes, I know you need a job, but with responses like that to people (i.e., me) who are only trying to help you, how are you going to win out on a job interview in your present state?

It sounds like to me you need to realize that yes, people did some bad things to you, but that you and you alone are responsible for your behavior now. You are not responsible for how people see you, but you are completely responsible for how you act towards them. And if you're hostile to people trying to *help* you, that shows that you need to work on yourself and get lots *more* help in order to be your best.

The "i hate myself and everything" is a stage that lots of us go through. And many of us (including me) are standing on the other side of it. Instead of seeing everything through a veil of hatred and anger, drop the storyline, and see that no one here is trying to hurt you or belittle you. Your responses here are hurting and belittling you. Your responses in your head are hurting and belittling you. NO ONE is doing that *to* you, which you need to *listen* to (see the rest of this thread, for starters) and stop blaming everyone else, including yourself.

In case all that sounds circuitous, here's the point: BLAME KEEPS YOU BUSY. It lies to you and makes you *think* you're moving forward, when instead you're standing still. Therefore, work towards things other than blame, as it will get you nowhere.

 

[J_trustno1]

I always get what I want. I don't think anyone telling me that I am not in the right place to get a job can stop me. if I want it, it simply means I want it and I will get it. I can't let them laugh at my failures or call me a loser for the rest of my life. Getting a job is like a war to me from this moment on wards and the victory shall be mine :).

 

[Tanishq]

I always get what I want.

Be careful here Jess. You may not always get what you want. Lowering down high expectations can help you immensely in this journey. It can help you to calm down mind, more focus, more balance.

Gently I am telling you this: Life is very crazy, Earth is very crazy...

It is sort of like this: You will get somethings sometimes, You won't get somethings sometimes. All in good in the end! Peace!

Also never make a mistake to make this lifetime a war, I have seen people making this mistake so often and suffering more than ever. My resource is gently observing people. We sure are accountable to this all. I am not trying to bring you down, I am just trying to tell you don't make it war. Your attitude does decide altitude. Just a saying this things in gentle tone. No harm to you.

 

[bell]

@Tanishq, I wish I could "like" your post a thousand times. Just wonderful.

Also, Jess, the point of a job is to work *with* people, not against them. Looking at it like a war will only result in more wounds for all, because it's not a war it's about *teambuilding,* because the ones that you work with are on your "team," so to speak. And as for interviews, their main point is to see if you "fit" on their "team." Seeing it like a war will only pit you *against* them, not with.

 

[Tanishq]

@bell Thank you. I am trying to support Jess. :)

Exactly bell, there is no war who gave both parties peaceful solutions. War always brings wounds as you are mentioning, grief, loss. You have a point there, very thoughtful. Normally ptsd sufferers feel so hard to get adjusted, your suggestion has a sound. With that mental attitude and understanding, one can find a way to get adjusted somehow if not fully. Eventually good adjustment.

To all posters in this thread, I am also in tough situation here. I see two ways in my life, I still can study or start professional career. I am so lost, I can't decide. You all made very good contributions and I have learned a lot from all of you. Thank you for investing time in this thread. I won't go in details, I don't want to because this is not mine thread. I felt to say this because thank you is due.

 

[Dana1010]

@J_trustno1, I'm guessing your surname sounds Indian, right? So for the employers who actually call you for an interview, I think we can rule out discrimination. I mean if they could tell from your name that you are Indian, and they are prejudiced, then they wouldn't have called you in the first place, right?

 

[scout86]

How dare they tell me that I know nothing?

Did they actually say that?

What I read in those rejections was NOT that "you aren't good enough". What I read was that they had other candidates that they felt better suited their needs. Those 2 things are not the same AT ALL! Under other circumstances, they might have hired you. In a tough job market, employers can be picky, and come up with what they see as the "perfect" candidate. Who knows what they might use for criteria?

This is not an "all or none deal", unless you chose to make it one. Chances of any of us being EITHER the "best" in the known universe, or the "worst" are slim. There's just too much competition. There will pretty much always be people who are better or worse.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Why not take the time to go to therapy and do some volunteering? Yes, I know you need a job, but with responses like that to people (i.e., me) who are only trying to help you, how are you going to win out on a job interview in your present state?

Yeah, that's one of the reasons I suggested voulneering at the start of the thread. I think @J_trustno1 needs to work on her mental health...and volunteering is a great way to get something on your resume but then they don't ask 20+ hours out of you a week so it would be possible.

 

[Hashi]

@J_trustno1 as a scientist, do you feel you're keeping to the evidence here?

You seem to be interpreting things which you're not reporting as a fact. For example:

How dare they tell me that I know nothing?

Did they tell you "You know nothing"? That's not what you've quoted anyone saying to you.
I would be careful about putting your own interpretation onto things, I would keep to the facts.

If someone tells you that you weren't successful, they have told you that you weren't successful. I suggest not reading more into it than what they actually say.

I worked at restaurant from the age of 12 (child labor) till I was 14, then I worked from the age of 14- 17 at supermarket, 18-19 at retail store. What more experience is needed for a job which is just entry level?

It's not just a list of previous jobs that people want. It's the skills and good attitude which you can demonstrate with examples from that experience.

You've quoted some feedback as:

"You did very well to get to where you did but there are other candidates who have more relevant backgrounds in terms of the type of work they’d held, with some also bringing very good attributes from activities not directly relating to their studies as well.

I'd like to draw attention to the second part:
with some also bringing very good attributes from activities not directly relating to their studies as well.

I really think you need to focus on the skills and attributes that your experience has given you. Not on how many years you've worked in various jobs.

I think you need to get as much application advice as you can.

I think you need to stick with the facts.

I think you need to not take it personally if you don't get a job or internship. Especially if 298 other people didn't get it either.

 

[J_trustno1]

I think I better withdraw from this thread before everyone turns against me and this resulting in another insulting ban.

 

[bell]

@J_trustno1, no one is turning against you. In fact, we're all trying to *support* you. I suggest re-reading this thread through a different pair of glasses, because there are zero posts here where people are being negative towards you.

Personally, I think this comes from the fact that you are stuck in the (dis)belief that the world is against you. Your neighbor, companies, your family, you think everyone is against you. And 9 times out of 10, when one thinks "everyone" is against them, *they* are the one in need of an attitude adjustment not "everyone" else.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

You have many clear patterns @J_trustno1 in your threads. No one here is turning against you. I do think you need some time to work on your mental health and that is something everyone here does. I know you are an adult and can do what you want so that is just my 2 cents.