I Want To Understand Combat Ptsd!

[myvetswife]

if he can't cope with this then that is his problem,

My opinion is yes and no. You have to admit that you have PTSD and that is a big step.

Of course you should set limits to what level. It is your decision if you want to stay or leave. But please understand that how he is, is kind of normal for his sitation.

My hubby done things like that. We only found out it was combat PTSD related after a very long time living like a rollercoaster. But he knew he had to do something otherwise he would loose me.

Beeing on the german net it sometimes seems easier than in the US or England. We got a lot of help. BUT we also went to private organisations aswell where we had to pay to get help.

He said to me before he really had to hit the floor emotions wise before he started to do something.

 

[hopeforhealing]

Thank you all for your considerate responses. I have been reading a lot, trying to understand. Even in all the reading, and trying to understand my heart still feels like he is being selfish. I know that he is in a dark place, and it is difficult to see him hurt. I do have to take care of myself also. I have never been on a "date", and at this time in my life I want to feel that connection with my lover/mate/boyfriend. The hardest part of accepting this change is that we had a good working relationship in the beginning. I feel like I am grieving another loss in my life. I feel like if I wait he will get through this and we can be us again. I am a patient person (most of the time) and if I know I have to wait a set period of time I can.

Perhaps it is time to sit down and write him an email. I just have no clue what I'd say. Yes, I am walking on eggshells and it is time for me to stop. I need to find some self respect and confidence.

 

[Dallas]

You have no choice but to let him go and develop your own life. You can't have him arrested and forced to come to you. If he wants to see you he will. But right now it seems like he doesn't want to see you. There is nothing you can do and no amount of begging or pleading will change it. In fact it will make it worse.

Maybe when he woke you up, you could have gone out and slept on the couch. I'm so happy when I'm sleeping next to my bf, I don't care if he wakes me up a million times in one night. Maybe he sensed your resentment and anger and that's why he doesn't want to be with you right now.

You have to respect his wishes. You can't control him.

Sincerely,

Dallas.

 

[Dallas]

If you're not engaged or he hasn't asked you for an exclusive commitment, I would also start dating other people. It will boost you self-esteem and you will have fun and get your mind off him. Just because you go on a date with someone, doesn't mean you have to sleep with them either. So there is nothing morally wrong with dating other people if you are not engaged to this guy.

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[hopeforhealing]

We are not engaged. However I made a commitment as strong in my heart. There was a time when he told me he wanted to marry me, and grow old together. He says nothing has changed, but that he needs to work through some things. He never exactly says what. As it seems with many who suffer with PTSD, he is inconsistent.

When he was transferred from the NW to the south was when things changed. I feel like something happened. Perhaps it was what he was doing down there that brought back things he needed to deal with. I may never know.

If I have learned one thing in the last two years is to end one thing before I start another. If he wants to just date me, I would be open to going on a date. But truth be told, I have never been asked on a date.

Thank you,
Hopeforhealing