I Wish My Teachers Had Noticed....

[kers]

I am a teacher, too. I've read that often something that can make the difference between resilient kids and kids that succumb to the circumstances around them is whether they have one good, solid relationship with an adult that cares about them. Having just one relationship can make the difference to a kid's psychological survival. So I strive every day to know my kids better, to reach out, and to listen and love them. I think that's something we can strive for every day.

 

[BethRSA]

Thanks to all the good teachers/children's workers (in any capacity) on the forum who are trying to make a difference in the lives of children who are being abused.

a3a2, thanks for starting this thread. I believe it has helped all who posted or read it.

If it's OK, can I use some of the ideas for a class I teach every January to our students learning to teach children and train others? It's called, "Dealing with Troubled Children" and it's held one hour per day for 5 days. I know that we just touch the tip of the iceberg, but the idea is to make them aware.

 

[Monarch]

I can relate to alot of the stories in this thread, I was an angry, defiant little girl and none of the teachers liked me in their classroom. If they tried to discipline me they had me in their face. Of course, some of them weren't nice either, my Latin teacher called me stupid in front of class one day because I wasn't paying attention, so I turned around and called her a bitch. Of course I got in trouble but she shouldn't have called me stupid. They tried to kick me out of school twice (it was a private prep school), I don't know how my parents kept me in, probably threw money at them. Once my parents threatened me with military school, I just ran away, lived at a friends house for awhile, showed up to school whenever. Ick....I hated high school, bad memories.

 

[picklerina]

I was a very quiet child, severe shyness, never had friends, diagnosed with a "learning disability" on in math. I started wetting my pants while in 3rd and 4th grade. I guess because I was afraid to let anyone know I had to go.
I'm sorry, this is a very triggering thread for me.

 

[LikeCharlotte]

When I think back I can see how no one knew. Not even once I was in a hospital or at a special school for unrelated PTSD. I was hiding it, even from myself. I didn't want help. I didn't want them to see. Nothing and no one - not even seasoned professionals were going to be let in to that. I had absolutely no trust of anyone. The ways it showed were so rogue that even I barely see it after years of looking at it. I don't know if this helps but I was a perfectionist. I excelled in everything. I was anything to anyone. I was a perfect student, friend, I participated in activitys, I spoke in class, I answerd questions of therapist. I lied every day. I call it my mask.

It showed in different ways. I was dressed maturely for my age. I knew more than I should have about adult things. I was highly emotional but only under pressure. I was at "home sick" much of the time. I had trouble with girls and harassment from boys but I would not let anyone know it bothered me. I had rage at home but was an angel in class. It was not until right before my breaking point that I began drinking, using drugs and not getting straight A's. Even then the focus was put on "the wrong crowd" and the recent deaths of friends of mine. I lied about the drugs.

You would have had to be psychic to know. I didn't know.

 

[a3a2]

I was begging for help. Sometime literally. But most of the time just with my silence.

Thanks, Beth, for picking up what I couldn't carry.

 

[Jade-]

I wish my teachers would have noticed too. When I was in 3rd (?) grade, I went to class but refused to sit in my seat. I said I would stand, but not sit. The teacher didn't question it, she just announced to the class "Jade doesn't have to sit down anymore, but she's the only one that's allowed to stand."

In 4th grade I was called in to the office for a sexually explicit letter I wrote to a boy. I had written all the sexual things I would do to/with him if he liked me. The principal just told me I was too young to be doing those kinds of things, or to even really know what they were.

There were so many things, the teachers had to know something wasn't quite right. Maybe they knew but turned a blind eye.

I'm thinking/hoping things are different now. For any abused child's sake, I pray it's different.