I Wish There Was a Bullet in the Gun "Trigger Warning"

[anthony]

Yer, but its not just you that does this, as just about every person in their life will do exactly the same, generally multiple times, because when you believe in your heart, you think nothing can go wrong, but then the other party doesn't feel the same, or is not being totally honest with themselves or the other, thus breakdowns occur.

I think the current state of society has a lot to do with it also now, where it is now more acceptable to just breakup, than stick a relationship out and try to make it work as they did 40 years ago. Now, you just up and pack your bags, then do it all over again. It is nothing to see people constantly changing partners now, basically; once the honeymoon period of a relationship is past, the reality of relationship is too boring for them, so they move onto another relationship, where the honeymoon period begins all over again.

HSM, this isn't just relevant to yourself, so really don't beat yourself up over it, as its happening in all walks of life now, all societies, and all living standards level, regardless whether your rich, poor or inbetween, it is happening all the same. Society has shifted focus with relationships, and some of us are expecting commitment, when others are living in the current state of shambles. The two just don't mix, which means each and every time, someone is going to get hurt. Been there, done it myself...

 

[Nam]

i hate the fa ct that i am so gullable, and can be taken so easiely for a fool, but when my hearts involved i cabnt heklp it, i hate myself mor ehthje ever, i let myself get hurt so bad,

I think your heart needs you first. It's broken, and no woman is going to fix it. You're searching for something in them and they can't give something they don't have. You probably want to :hit-boss: me now, but I feel it needs to be said. You need to take care of you. You need to love yourself or at least try to like yourself. I know it's hard.

 

[TScorpio1]

I'm not going to go into my story just yet, but I know 90% of what you feel. You have to push on and find support elsewhere, if not yourself for now. Be it music, poetry, writing. Something. Mine is music, but it's aggressive. Maybe because I can passively deal with my anger. Doesn't what you went thru, make you so angry when other people complain about stuff not even close to these experiences? I can't stand it, but then, maybe I need to be more sympathetic. Your mom sounds like the psycopath my dad was. Your fear of death may deal with the fact that you've tried it so much; and we don't like to lose at ANY challenge given to us. Because when we were kids we were not allowed to mess up at anything (in their and now our eyes). You need to find your own, "good" outlet and let this out. I am supposed to try some EMDR treatment and I'm not sure if I emotionally want to go thru that again. But I don't want to take medicine either. Your story is a start for you. I hope you find something, just like I hope I find mine. For my sake of knowing if I'm going to stop f*cking people up emotionally.

 

[anthony]

Welcome scorpio, glad to have you here.

 

[TScorpio1]

Thanks

I appreciate that.

 

[Nam]

Awesome that you are here! We welcome you. And thanks for posting...sometimes it takes courage to do that.