I Would Like Your Advice on a Religious Problem

[Grama-Herc]

Good idea. I have a woman who calls me and gets very negative. I find the first opening and begin to rattle on about my cats and it does not talk long for her to have "someone knocking at the door" Works everytime. HE HE! I'm so evil

 

[2quilt]

Yes, we do send legitimate emails to each other about how life is going, politics, our health concerns, my travels, etc., and I spend time with her every time we go to her part of the country for vacation. I just love her, she is wonderful. Normally I don't attempt to change my friends. Gosh, I hope that I am not so annoying to anyone.

I am starting to see that since she won't change when I have asked her twice, then I must change. I just love this forum because you all are such great help when I have a problem that I need advice with.

 

[Marlene]

I had an uncle that did that (religious emails) as well. I sat him down and asked him to stop sending them to me. For a while he respected my wishes. Then after my father died, he started up again. I guess he figured I needed them or something. Whatever.

So I asked him again in an email to not send them. They kept on coming. So I put his email address into my spam filter. When I clean it out and I see him name, I look at the subject line. If it looks like his normal 'crap'...delete. If it looks like family news, then I'll read it.

People who ignore my boundaries get ignored by me.

I know she's your friend, but there has to be respect on both sides in order to have a real relationship.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
Lisa

 

[Salu]

Oi, she´s not going to stop, thats for sure. It´s probably not what you would like to hear, but don´t make those e-mails into such a big deal, use whatever suggested here before - spamfilters - great things at times. And don´t bother to read that stuff, especially when its been forwarded to you instead of a personal message.

These things are just so deep in a lot of them they don´t understand when their religion becomes a source of stress for their surroundings.

But if she´s a good friend otherwise then there is no need to stop that, no perfection in this world. :Hug_emoticon:

 

[Claire]

Hello, I have a similar friend that sends me stuff like that. I find it irritating but nothing more. It sounds to me like this friend is simply careless about forwarding. You're on the list and so get the mail. End of story, I doubt she's considered the messages you might be reading into it.

Everyone's email system is different but you might be able to set up a 'rule' that sends the message straight to a folder which you can choose to delete. You could also possibly set up a 'rule' to remind her not to send them automatically if you receive a forwarded email from her.

 

[cragger65]

Hm, that's a tough one. Obviously you value her friendship, and I'm sure she values yours as well. I imagine at the heart of it, she believes that "God", "faith", whaterver it is that she has found to help her, is just the ticket to help you. I must confess, I've gotten caught up in the touchy-feely email circuit myself, but it's guilt rather than love that motivates the continuation of them for me. HOWEVER, I would NEVER forward one to someone who I didn't already know,

A. Had some beliefs along that line and thought that they would get something out of it, even if I don't, and

B. Was one of the people who forwards this kind of stuff themselves.

Anyway, personal choices aside, maybe sending back these emails with an "auto-responder" type message, stating that this sort of forward is not welcome or accepted at this address. Something impersonal, unharsh, friendly-business like. It's not just a message to your friend, but to anyone, present and future. I don't know if you feel comfortable with that or not, but it's a way to deal wiht it globally, and not make it a personal thing about your friend - you can thank her for prompting you to finally get around to doing something like this.

Claire's mention of using rules is just the thing to use to facilitate this. You can set up a rule to scan for the words "Christ", "prayer", and "saviour". As they continue to slip through in lesser number, you can add words to scan for to make your filter more efficient.

 

[Mina]

Since you do trade 'real' emails with her, I'm with those suggesting a rule or filter. I know you can set up filters in gmail to include specific email addresses, as well as specific words, like Cragger suggested. If your program allows, you could filter out anything from "Gail" containing the word "God" or whatever and hopefully still receive legitimate correspondence from her.

Gail is lucky to have a friend who cares enough about the friendship to solicit advice on how to be tactful with her. I personally HATE forwards, period, doesn't really matter what they are...my methods have been effective, but not as nice ("Quit sending me this &*%#!"). She is fortunate to have you!

 

[becvan]

I have a rule about emails and it applies to everyone.. no exceptions. I only ask twice for someone to stop sending me certain types of emails or to stop forwarding. After that, they are simply blocked so they can not send me anything. If they want to talk to me they can call or write.

This little rule saves a lot of grief in the long run.

Might be an idea for ya.

bec

 

[2quilt]

Update: The asking-her-to-stop treatment failed, the ignore-the-problem treatment failed also because I am not the kind of person who ignores offenses. She sent me another email yesterday that began with "How We As Christians Should Handle the Limited Resourses of Earth..." and I tried something new: I replied to her email with the Ethical Atheists Ten Suggestions (they compare to christian commandments) and I now await her response. We visit her house this weekend, so I wonder if she will respond in person to my email or let it go. Let's see if she realizes why I sent her information on Atheism. Will she feel uncomfortable? Pressured to learn about my belief system? Annoyed that I keep sending her emails that she does not want to read? She has told me that she does not like the fact that I am Atheist. Let's see how she handles this one.

 

[fin]

Update: The asking-her-to-stop treatment failed............
Let's see how she handles this one.

..I really dont think it is asking too much of her to stop it. I want to say please keep with the updates.
Good luck 2quilt

~fin

 

[missy8888]

She kinda sounds annoying

Now i get all kinds of emails from all my friends....and i forward them...BUT....i only forward the emails to friends that would like that type of thing...

for example... cop jokes are forwarded to other cops... anything to do with motorcycles goes to my friends that ride... any religous ones i forward to my mom, my bf, and friends of similar faith...

so that is what she needs to do....instead of email harrassing everyone...she needs to do some fitering of her own... and since you have told her... she seems clueless... I like the email you sent back to her... That was pretty sassy!!! you rock!!!.... keep doing that.....lol

I wouldn't get mad at her though... some people are unfortunately.....ahhhh........ok well STUPID!!!!! :rofl:
but she probably does mean well..... sooooooo....

 

[2quilt]

Yeah, I just love her as a friend; this is her only flaw really, so getting mad at her is not happening, but I can't wait to see how she reacts to the Ten Suggestions. If this does not work, I am considering Positive Reinforcement with a Twist: Every day that she does not send me an email about christianity, I will send her an email Thanking her for not doing so.