Idk Anymore

[MLB]

how do I know whether or not what to do with myself when all I think about is killing myself I just want these feelings to go away and not to come back. Do I go to the hospital?

 

[joeylittle]

Hi MLB.

The first question I'd ask you is, are you currently working with a therapist, or a counselor, anyone like that? They are going to be able to be real-world help to you in a way that we can't be, just over the internet.

If you are afraid you can't keep yourself safe, then yes - you go to the hospital and tell them exactly that. If you aren't sure, a good first step can be calling a crisis line, or getting on a crisis chat. Sometimes talking it out with someone will help you figure out the next step.

 

[gealach]

Hi MLB, seek medical help if you feel suicidal. Hospital, clinic, crisis line... whatever is available to you where you are. And think about joining the forum, there's a lot of supportive people here. Feel better!

 

[Canotia]

I have been here and still am at times, it's getting better. First, I can now recognize the difference between ideation and intent/plans. Either way it needs to be addressed, but one is an ER visit and the other is not. If you have a plan, it is a visit to the ER. If you cannot make it there a crisis line can and will send someone to you. If you are thinking about it all the time. I was researching like crazy about my best option then you can go to your primary care physician and they can help you find help. Also, a crisis line can help you find resources in your area. Ideation can lead to an attempt so it is important not to dismiss it.

A crisis line saved my life. I had been dealing with ideation for a long time, but I was afraid to tell anyone. I had collected Percocet for some time but I didn't have a plan. One day it was the final straw, I was set off, drank a little too much, and put it into action. I don't remember the phone call, but I called a crisis line. They sent an ambulance and the ER saved me. I was already receiving care so I was only in the hospital for two nights. It was enough to stabilize me and alert my psychiatrist and psychologist. I wish I had told them prior to the incident. They would have worked on changing my medication and helped me make a plan before I got to that point. I would not of been placed in inpatient care.

This was on 9 September. Now with the medication change I am gradually starting to feel better. I am most definitely getting some sleep now. It's a long road to go but I do know this, the attempt made my mental state worse. It's harder to recover from an attempt than ideation. I still think about it, but I have a plan. I have activities to do, people to call to distract me, and if I am feeling really bad like you describe I have a list of steps to take. I don't have to think of what to do like you are.