If Not Me, Who?

[Shellbell]

I think there is too much tolerance in the world these days. People are expected to tolerate what is basically wrong. The stuff going on in your neighbourhood is wrong AS and it would p*ss me off too. There are groups who feel entitled and interpret that as being allowed to do wrong and no-one can say anything - or they scream racism or prejudice. Political correctness has gone mad in the world, and entitlement is a dangerous concept that often leads to no good.

I worked in social housing for over a decade and saw a lot. I've seen nice neighbourhoods go downhill due to people who live like pigs, harrass neighbours and crime goes up. The other residents shouldn't have to put up with it and see their homes go down in value and feel unsafe due to having to tolerate this. There's not enough done through the 'correct chanels to sort this out.

Sadly though, it is the way of the world.

 

[Abstract]

AS, May I suggest something? That you clearly state some details of this situation. That may help this process a lot.

From what I have heard you say I am understanding that rich children

the perpetrators are spoiled little rich kids?

in your neighbourhood skateboard down your street and do not always give way to traffic straight away. It sounds like this is a group of children you know. Then you mention graffiti and rape and many other things. Are these same children involved in these and have they damaged your property or the property next door to you? What has been done about these children so far? In other words have their parents been approached or have they been in trouble with the law? You mention rape and stabbing etc. Where does that come into this?

You also mention psychopathic behaviour and say you are capable of it too. Is this one of the children you are talking about or the whole group. Do you know them well enough to come to that conclusion?

 

[AS1975]

I did security patrols, the property behind our house (and our back fence) has to be patrolled several times a night as it is known to be an area with persistent property crime, vandalism, anti-social behavior, under-age drinking and all the rest. It looks like an utter shithole with all the broken glass, graffiti, and other crap lying around.

I've lived in places with worse shitheads, but that is where they start, letting them get away with it is what leads it further and further. But when I lived in those places the rule was, you worried about nothing outside your own fenceline or property line and that is where the damage has been done in front of me. I actually have to learn to allow people to be beaten to death in front of me (I've lost two jobs for getting involved when that happened outside the fenceline), but I reckon I can sit back and watch.

I'm glad this thread has let me see the error of my ways, what happens outside my fence or property isn't my problem as a citizen and I shan't let myself get involved (if I'm paged to it as a member of the fire service that is different). I recognise that my persistent need to try and make my environment safer is an issue I've just got to get past. I cannot control what happens outside my house and yard, and as an early new years resolution I resolve not to (trouble is I always did dislike watching people get hurt, but apparently good citizenship requires that). I hereby resolve to be what I always regarded as a "gutless, self-interested, pitiless prick", in the name of saving my relationship.

Feels better already:mask:

 

[ms spock]

... legally entitled to use such force as was necessary to prevent such disrespect.

What legistation is this?

I didn't know that patrolmen were legislated to prevent disrespect?

I don't know of any legislation that means that security personell are entitled to use such force as necessary to prevent disrespect.

 

[ms spock]

I actually have to learn to allow people to be beaten to death in front of me

I don't believe this. You have a choice to ring the police and report physical violence.

(I've lost two jobs for getting involved when that happened outside the fenceline),

So you overstepped the boundaries of your job description?

 

[ms spock]

Now I'm being told that I'm powerless to act in the same way when my property is treated like shit, or the neighboring property looks like a warzone, with scum hanging round smashing things up and doing graffiti, or when my family is treated with utter disrespect by tools who want to use the road beside our window as a skate park at all hours (when there is a municipal skate park 500m away, paid for out of Council rates).

There are many things that you can do - you can ring the police, you can record dates, times and places and submit that to council, you can write to the real estate agents of the house that look decepit. You can lobby your local member, you can join your neighbhood association - there are countless things that you can do to make your neighbourhood a better place. You can lobby for night hours to be enforced at your local skate park.

 

[AS1975]

I have no interest in ringing the police. Let someone else do that.

No, I not only got outside the boundaries of my job description, I got involved in shitfights and inter-clan warfare (If you've never lived in the warzone that is NW QLD you won't get it). You don't get involved, not even the police get involved, they just let it happen and deal with the consequences the next day when everyone is sober.

 

[ms spock]

No one is telling you that you cannot protect your property or your rights but doing it in an aggressive, authoritative and arrogant way can make you look like an arsehole yourself.

It can also set the other people up in you house to be targets as well.

 

[Abstract]

I'm glad this thread has let me see the error of my ways, trouble is I always did dislike watching people get hurt, but apparently good citizenship requires that). I hereby resolve to be what I always regarded as a "gutless, self-interested, pitiless prick", in the name of saving my relationship.

AS, if I am reading it correctly then your reply is dripping with sarcasm. Which is fine and doesn't bother me really but honestly the jumps you making are a little concerning.

Noone in this thread has said that you should watch people be raped, stabbed, beaten to death etc without doing anything. I abhor people who do that. There are different appropriate actions depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in. And regardless of how ineffective you think it will be reporting violence to the police is the first step always.

You still have not described the specific incident or circumstances that preceded the argument and I think that would be really helpful to do. We can't properly answer without all the facts. This is not a criticism at all and is rather said with concern and is merely an observation: there seem to be many, many cognitive distortions in the way you are thinking that I don't think is helpful to you. It does not at all mean that you can't dislike certain things, protect yourself and your family or that you should condone violence but it is helpful to look things as clearly as possible. I am sure you are familiar with this stuff but just in case here is a link. http://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/cognitive-distortions-cbt.htm

 

[saffy]

In my experience facing yobs with an aggressive I am better and bigger than you attitude makes them behave even worse. It is like them saying, ''f*ck you mister, you cannot tell me what to do and who are you to judge me'. Sad and Unfortunate as it is.

Most of these kids have had no boundaries themselves and are probably already being abused at home. That does NOT excuse their behaviour in anyway.

However, by trying to fight them, they will get defensive and offensive as a means of communication. They have little skills in this area either by the sounds of it. Problem gangs like this are rife on a lot of estates, some people are targeted more than others, there are reasons for why. Ones we cannot agree with or understand but to them at the moment it makes sense or is justified.

Pleased try not to get defensive AS, no one is attacking you here :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[AS1975]

Not being defensive, I either take and interest or I revert to learned behavior. Apparently the learned behavior is more appropriate (not perfect, but more appropriate) and do what I was taught to do. If it happens outside my fenceline, it is of no interest to me unless I'm paged to the incident through the Fire Service. No sarcasm involved or intended, I'll just put the mask on and ignore.

 

[Hashi]

I have no interest in ringing the police. Let someone else do that.

If you are watching someone being raped and not ringing the police I really have no more to say here.