I'm A Little Worried About Memory

[vikingr24]

I spent my usual night, waking up at 2:30 having made it to sleep at about 22:30. Four hours for me is average but I get along fine.

Until the past few nights. The wife is away visiting family and I'm alone. Every room in the house has a knife. My AF combat survival knife is by my bed.

Something happened between 02:30 and 6:00. I got out of bed and reached for the lamp but it wasn't where it was supposed to be. My cell phones, usually on the edge of the nightstand charging up, were on the carpet floor. The meds I normally take for sleep, were on the top of the nightstand. I didn't take them.

Couple of nights ago the heater had been moved farther from my bed.

I do not remember doing all these things. I am not a sleep walker and sleep has always been a problem for me. I remember walking in the Georgia forest when I was in Ranger school, and had the feeling of waking up, as if I had been sleeping. Most of Ranger training is sleep deprivation and I learned well.

This kinda stuff has never happened. Memory lapses. And the feeling I am somnambulant, a sleep walker. I have never been one and I am known for having a good memory. Sometimes it's too good.

I'd like to blame the Beast but something is happening. I don't remember any bad dreams of flashbacks. I do miss the Old Lady.

 

[holdenmonty]

That does sound a little unusual are you taking any antidepressants or anything? I do remember when my wife was visiting family with our boys for a month when I would have been deployed it was a really rough month. It's like the beast knew that I was alone and took full advantage of it. I have noticed lapses in memory but not quite to your extent. There have been times that I have had a whole conversation with somebody and not even five minutes later not even remembering having the conversation with that individual. It seems like I have always had a bad memory though and mine just seems to slowly be getting worse.

 

[Friday]

I don't know about anyone else... But one of two things happens when my life shifts; I either wake up/ become more alive/ more myself... Or my memory shreds.

I joke through it, usually I joke through everything, but those are my bad days. The beginning of them, anyway. If it's a one off, it's just a bad day. If my life has shifted for good? I'm gonna be f*cked for awhile. The nightmares and panic attacks will start in a few weeks. To begin with, it's just my 'I can't do things right, today.' I never remember why, or how, it's just nothing works. I close doors too hard. Use too much force on everything I touch, or drop shit left and right. Nothing is where I left it. I bump into walls (who put the damn wall there, anyway?). I forget appointments. I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm touchy, spacy, or numb. If I try and force through the day, I usually end up with a monster headache.

Used to happen during my good years if my son went to his grandparents for a weekend. I wouldn't be able to find my ass with both hands. Like my damn brain fell out of my head. I might enjoy it for a few hours, but then it was just this constant -something is missing, something is wrong. And this times about a million when my ex got custody.

I'm adaptable, flexible, can think on my feet... But I don't transition well. (Unless I like the change, then I do the more alive/more myself thing). I depend on exterior structure. When that changes? Stress. Mad subtle stress. Something missing, something wrong... And the longer it goes on, the worse everything else around me gets. Don't know if this is true for you, but if hadn't really put any of this to words before.

 

[RTO]

I would see the Doc, brother. Could be the meds but probably a combination of many factors. The traumatized mind is complex.

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

I noticed that my memory was being affected shortly after I started taking these anti anxiety meds.
I'm working my way leaning off them slowly but damn, Im always scrambling to find where I set this or that down.
Through out the day.

But hey variety is the spice of life right?

 

[atilla]

I sleepwalk. If I'm stressed, or am having a screwed up ptsd bullshit kind of day. I tend to roam the house at night, to be told the next day about it. I'm not on the meds anymore, so I know that's not it.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

I know that Xanax f*ck's with my short term memory. And I mean short, sometimes like 15 mins. Drives the wife nuts. However, I have not made it to the point of coming off Xanax, so I'm just getting use to the memory thing.....

 

[dutchiedelta]

The meds I took messed up my memory something wicked.
Now I'm off them memory improved loads but still things slip through.
At the moment I'm stressed out a lot and find it happening again.
Convos where details went missing. Literally forgetting I said that 10 minutes ago.
Making a cup of tea and thinking: I'd like a cuppa now, to find one ready in front of me.

Stress seems to strip part of my mind from functioning. Not the survival/important things but the daily stuff.

 

[vikingr24]

Part of this problem is the anxiety of flashbacks occurring in those nightly lapses. I am taking low dos lorazepam and I haven't taken it a lot. I want it to work. I have had some serious panic attacks. I am learning to breath through them. And I take pain pills for the leg pain and dammit I need that stuff.

I certainly have had the "conversation lapse" because most of the time I could care less what they are saying. I just got over one helluva sinus and ear problem after another surgery.

It has to be the meds. I took hydrocodone for the surgery pain and I guess that is when I noticed it. Not nice to say but I am glad I am not the only one. It sure does add to the day.

 

[holdenmonty]

Well my memory has really sucked this week... I can be on the phone with somebody and they want to leave a message and when they are done telling me what the message is I have already forgotten what their name is and I have to ask... I also lost my phone five different times yesterday in the span of three hours... just put it someplace and a minute later forget where I put it

 

[Kaishi]

I do.. hell calling it sleepwalk probably isn't even close, according to boyfriend's & friends I trusted myself to sleep over at description. Missing years of action in wee hours like crazy, never gotten used to night being for /sleep/, I've got to be dead tired to do the normal lay down, stay down, sleep thing. Not realized and completely forgotten by morning in case I catch myself doing it. The lack of lucidity during bothers me a lot.

Usual waking memory's long line of 'can't' and 'can but I'll split it into so fragmented putting together an ordinary day is a research'. Plus medication doing funny things.

 

[Schoo]

I have friends and go to their houses for parties and get togethers and cannot remember their names at all. I remember them by their actions while I am there. It brings back some stuff I remember but not their names. It's embarrassing but I have to wait until someone calls their name so I can hear It and approach them for a conversation.