I'm Just Not Motivated

[Healing Reins]

I'm done with therapy - I have no motivation to get better. I'm really depressed and I feel like I have no support now.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Why do you have no motivation? Did something happen?

 

[Healing Reins]

@Solara I talk a lot about what's going on for me in my trauma diary. But basically I found out on Tuesday how sick I am. I throw up my food after I eat and I can't stop. It's effecting my heart, and it's effecting my electrolytes. And when those get too low, you die. So I'm kind of giving up.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It's a physical illness as well as PTSD? Sorry, I don't read trauma diaries as they trigger me so I haven't read yours.

 

[Healing Reins]

@Solara I have bulimia so I brought on everything myself. I don't know how to stop. I don't think I will stop.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My heart goes out to you. Are you seeing anyone at all to help you find the root cause of your Bulimia? Do not give up. You are so worth fighting for.

 

[Healing Reins]

@gizmo I know the root cause of it. I just feel like I can't stop. No matter how hard I try. I feel like I'm going to die because of this. And I don't have the motivation to stop.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You didn't bring this on yourself! I think that maybe you should try to forgive yourself for your actions. I know you can get better, but not if you give up. I know it's hard to heal from an eating disorder, but it is possible!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It sounds like you are giving up. I understand not having the motivation to stop. I wish you would call a crises hot line and talk about this to them. There is always hope. Is it that you do not have any more hope? I am very concerned for you.

 

[Healing Reins]

@gizmo I'm not suicidal though. I just feel like this will never end. Its killing me. Like this is physically killing me. And I want to fight, but I feel like I can't.[DOUBLEPOST=1400802192,1400801994][/DOUBLEPOST]I'm giving up on trying to stop. It's too hard

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You don't have to be suicidal to call a help line.

 

[Healing Reins]

I dont even know what I would say. It wouldn't make sense to them. They wouldn't get it. No one gets it