Here's what happened.
My earliest memories are of being beaten by my mothers boyfriends, while at the same time being sexualy abused by another one of her friend. Teachers at school noticed I was acting badly in class and told my mother I may either have a learning disablitie or that I was being abused. Both where true.
I was put in special ed classes at age 8. I was also placed in therepy twice a week. My life from age 0 until 12 was evenly split between sexual abuse, psychologists telling me there's nothing, and special ed teachers treating me like a moron. At age 10 I witnessed the man who was molesting me do the same to his two year old daughter.
The next day at school I was behaving badly and sent the principels office. I waited in the hall outside his office, which never happened before. I learned years later he was speaking with my mother on the phone. She had given him consent to spank me, then i recieved my spanking. I recieved spankings from him several more times. I went home that evening, since I was grounded for starting trouble at school, I was only allowed outside before dinner. I would make little boats and race them down the ditch. It rained that day. It was the spring. I have no clearer memory then this. My mother had come outside to get me. I told her I was being molested.......her response was "sometimes kids lie". I said nothing, and endured the next two years of the same; psychology after school and rape after dinner.
At twelve I moved to my fathers. It was better. My family had already written me off. I always envied my sister, my parents could always afford dance lessons, horseback riding,jazz, etc......... but there was never enough money left for me to try something new. I began a criminal life at 14. I stole steel snow shovels, hammered them flat, and then cut them into ninja stars.13-20 was drugs and crime, At 14 i saw a violent homicide of a child.
At 20 I meet a nice women and married her the next year. She pushed me through a bit of college. After five years, the drinking was to much for her, and she left. I have spent the last four years moving constantly around Canada, I have stayed in place for no more then 3 months. I haven't had sex in three years. I attempted suicide twice last year. I have committed terrible crimes. I can only sleep for very short periods of time. I have almost no human contact. I found two days ago I dont qualify for treatment. I've always tried to help people, through volunteer work, jokes, whatever.
My end seems to be approaching. thanks for reading.
My earliest memories are of being beaten by my mothers boyfriends, while at the same time being sexualy abused by another one of her friend. Teachers at school noticed I was acting badly in class and told my mother I may either have a learning disablitie or that I was being abused. Both where true.
I was put in special ed classes at age 8. I was also placed in therepy twice a week. My life from age 0 until 12 was evenly split between sexual abuse, psychologists telling me there's nothing, and special ed teachers treating me like a moron. At age 10 I witnessed the man who was molesting me do the same to his two year old daughter.
The next day at school I was behaving badly and sent the principels office. I waited in the hall outside his office, which never happened before. I learned years later he was speaking with my mother on the phone. She had given him consent to spank me, then i recieved my spanking. I recieved spankings from him several more times. I went home that evening, since I was grounded for starting trouble at school, I was only allowed outside before dinner. I would make little boats and race them down the ditch. It rained that day. It was the spring. I have no clearer memory then this. My mother had come outside to get me. I told her I was being molested.......her response was "sometimes kids lie". I said nothing, and endured the next two years of the same; psychology after school and rape after dinner.
At twelve I moved to my fathers. It was better. My family had already written me off. I always envied my sister, my parents could always afford dance lessons, horseback riding,jazz, etc......... but there was never enough money left for me to try something new. I began a criminal life at 14. I stole steel snow shovels, hammered them flat, and then cut them into ninja stars.13-20 was drugs and crime, At 14 i saw a violent homicide of a child.
At 20 I meet a nice women and married her the next year. She pushed me through a bit of college. After five years, the drinking was to much for her, and she left. I have spent the last four years moving constantly around Canada, I have stayed in place for no more then 3 months. I haven't had sex in three years. I attempted suicide twice last year. I have committed terrible crimes. I can only sleep for very short periods of time. I have almost no human contact. I found two days ago I dont qualify for treatment. I've always tried to help people, through volunteer work, jokes, whatever.
My end seems to be approaching. thanks for reading.
