Lovingmoney1
New Here
Hello everyone! I am quite new to this site. Not sure if this is the right thread to post but oh well.
I guess you could say that I am very naive. I got into a friends with benefits relationship with someone who is a couple of years older than me. At the time, I was so desperate to have a good sexual experience... I wanted to be erase what was done to me years prior. It was my first consensual sexual experience with this person and I was very excited as to where it could go! Little did I know at the time (wasn't diagnosed until summer) that he was triggering flashbacks and nightmares and but I continued seeing him although he didn't treat me all that well. Our relationship was was a little complicated so ultimately we decided to be just friends and I was ok with that. I thought he was a good person who was a jerk at times but it turns out, he's just an asshole.
He initiated sex with me the very last time we hung out. He basically treated me like a sex toy that was used at his disposal. It made me feel so dirty... brought me back to a space I didn't want to be in.
I was very hesitant on telling him that I had PTSD but I finally told him in order to explain to him why I was feeling that way and to hopefully not get any triggers in the future. As soon as I told him, he blatantly started to ignore me.... out of all the messed up things he has said/done to me, this is one of the worst. I've been such a good friend to him. Was always there when he needed but when I needed some type of support and acknowledgement, he made me feel like I was no longer worth his time, like I was crazy and what I was feeling had no merit.
All I know is that I'm done. I need to treat myself better and kick people like that out of my life. I can't afford to keep letting people hurt me over and over. I need to heal
I guess you could say that I am very naive. I got into a friends with benefits relationship with someone who is a couple of years older than me. At the time, I was so desperate to have a good sexual experience... I wanted to be erase what was done to me years prior. It was my first consensual sexual experience with this person and I was very excited as to where it could go! Little did I know at the time (wasn't diagnosed until summer) that he was triggering flashbacks and nightmares and but I continued seeing him although he didn't treat me all that well. Our relationship was was a little complicated so ultimately we decided to be just friends and I was ok with that. I thought he was a good person who was a jerk at times but it turns out, he's just an asshole.
He initiated sex with me the very last time we hung out. He basically treated me like a sex toy that was used at his disposal. It made me feel so dirty... brought me back to a space I didn't want to be in.
I was very hesitant on telling him that I had PTSD but I finally told him in order to explain to him why I was feeling that way and to hopefully not get any triggers in the future. As soon as I told him, he blatantly started to ignore me.... out of all the messed up things he has said/done to me, this is one of the worst. I've been such a good friend to him. Was always there when he needed but when I needed some type of support and acknowledgement, he made me feel like I was no longer worth his time, like I was crazy and what I was feeling had no merit.
All I know is that I'm done. I need to treat myself better and kick people like that out of my life. I can't afford to keep letting people hurt me over and over. I need to heal
