I'm Still Learning About All This So Bear With Me

[Gs172003]

Even when I'm not triggered, having to think about the ins ands outs of this disorder and trauma...

Thanks Friday. I react differently depending on the trigger. I'm.still learning all of them but one is my husband has to warn me when he comes out of the bedroom but only in the morning. Why? I dunno. It sets me off every damn time and he can tell. I can't hide it no matter what I do ( apparently I have a "stance" )
I'm not even sure what to call it but it's awful. It feels like my brain gets fuzzy and everything slows down. I know what's going on around me and I still function ( when I'm not frozen) but I don't still feel like I'm in the same situation if that makes sense.

 

[Gs172003]

But not every trigger elicits the same response. Where I married #2? If I'm forced to go there when I don't want to I'm a holy terror while I'm there and just figured out why this year.

The last time we went I was forced to go twice because we left but then there was a traffic backup right in front of it so we went back in. I had a flashback after I left. That time I felt him in the car with me.

 

[Gs172003]

Intimacy has gotten so bad my husband is scared to even try it.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Intimacy has gotten so bad my husband is scared to even try it.

I hear you loud and clear. I read through this whole thread and I have to say, yes, those are hard questions. I'mean not surprised that you needed time to look back.

I experience a very similar response as you do. It is hard (putting it mildly). A big and precious part of my life has been polluted and I have no idea how this is ever going to get worked out.

For me, just thinking about it is enough to bring up trauma memories and the emotions, sensations that you described as well.

In this, yes it's very real, normal and sad. I feel your pain.

 

[Gs172003]

I hear you loud and clear. I read through this whole thread and I have to say, yes, those are hard que...

Thank you and I'm sorry you have to deal with this

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Try and pay attention to what happens right before you dissociate

My therapist asks me this. What was happening at the time?

I'm not even sure what to call it but it's awful. It feels like my brain gets fuzzy and everything slows down. I know what's going on around me and I still function ( when I'm not frozen) but I don't still feel like I'm in the same situation if that makes sense.

Sounds like when I disassociate. I am told my eyes glaze over a bit, I have a blank stare. I have a few levels of disassociation.

Could be a bit of a flashback. I have a few "levels" of those as well. But sounds like disassociation to me.

But just my personal opinion. I have symptoms that I can't really name and have issue discribing too.

 

[Gs172003]

Sounds like when I disassociat...

I think it's a flashback. I don't know how to explain it

 

[Sideways]

When you have some time and are feeling reasonably calm, maybe scroll through some of the older Flashbacks threads. Ones about what does a flashback feel like, what is an emotional flashback, etc.

I often find that when I'm struggling to describe something I'm experiencing, that can be really helpful. Everyone uses their own language to describe their experience, and eventually you find a post that just clicks, and I can have a lightbulb moment like "That's it! That's exactly it!"

It helps not just answer the internal questions about what's going on, but it can also be useful to just find the words and the language to communicate it, which is really helpful when it comes time to process and manage the experience.