I'm too tired to write or journal or whatever

I almost gave up today. I lost a job and I get paid in 10 days, which seems short but also seems like forever when every bill and rent and debt falls now.
And I could have not put myself in that position again. I hope not to in the future.
I hope there is a future.

Everyone I know is going through something awful.
I'm trying to schedule and look and fight. My life is falling apart at the seams.
Every other day is scheduled and today was free for all, but there is a lot to do. I was called selfish and a gaslighter for using my last money for food instead of all debt when I lost the job.
Everything is due and everything is behind and I hold it together on some days, and some I can't. Today I couldn't, I cried for half a day considering my options, and then I slept and slept. I thought of what it would be like to give up. I think I'm calling a crisis line today.

I'm still here and 10 days are still way, way too long. My life is about to explode and I have no energy to deal with the consequences.
 
I almost gave up today. I lost a job and I get paid in 10 days, which seems short but also seems like forever when every bill and rent and debt falls now.
And I could have not put myself in that position again. I hope not to in the future.
I hope there is a future.

Everyone I know is going through something awful.
I'm trying to schedule and look and fight. My life is falling apart at the seams.
Every other day is scheduled and today was free for all, but there is a lot to do. I was called selfish and a gaslighter for using my last money for food instead of all debt when I lost the job.
Everything is due and everything is behind and I hold it together on some days, and some I can't. Today I couldn't, I cried for half a day considering my options, and then I slept and slept. I thought of what it would be like to give up. I think I'm calling a crisis line today.

I'm still here and 10 days are still way, way too long. My life is about to explode and I have no energy to deal with the consequences.
Don't know what to say. But, I am thinking of you.
 
I was foolish to think this mess needs 10 days only.
My mental health is a mess.
So is my work.

Some days I fight to make changes.
Then there is today when things MUST be done but I can hardly fight to do the 1 must task for the day. And being upright and not crying is a challenge.
 
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