In Search Of.... My Explanation

[Deleted member 487]

I was talking with a few friend about what I want to do, and truly very few people take it seriously. That I want to build my own miniature ship. Interesting as I really don't care. My close friends understand, and they think it's a cool idea. But for here, let me explain....

I was abused as a kid. Did I get to play? Yeah, I had no other way to get away from the abuse. So I played all the time, just to get away. And the play really wasn't "fun".

So I really wasn't much of a kid. Well, not much of a kid's life that is. Now that I'm 41, too disabled to get hired, I figure I'm gonna try to have the kid's life now that I missed out on then. Hey, it's my life. Is it a good idea? I dunno. I'm 41. I'm to the point that I am starting to not give a damn about anything. Not suicidal by any means (I know a few of you likely wondered that).
Instead, I just wanna be me all over again.

 

[The Albatross]

I rediscovered play when I was working with my church as the vacation bible school arts and crafts lady and also when I was teaching swim lessons at the Y. I can't swim anymore, but I say heck yes Jack. Go for it. I've been eyeballing a couple of not for profits' to volunteer with this summer working with kids. My mom tutor's several children in basic studies during the school year who have sustained trauma. She is also the "story lady" at several elementary schools and a 4th grade class of ADD/ADHD kids. I volunteered at my local animal shelter, at a place that works with the developmentally disabled... It was a way I could give back to my community even though physically I was not able to work at that time.

I also hosted a fund raiser for community kids and volunteered to work booths at "Healthy Kids Day", and my creative outlet is making jewelry for donation drawings or auctions for not for profits. I say go for it! Disabled or no, there's a lot to be said for reconnecting with play and contributing to youth in your community.

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. Kids need to know and have modeled that people are still viable even with disability. I was "Mrs. Lifeguard" because even grey, wheezing and on my worst days. They knew that just because I was ill, I showed up and cared about them. I'll never forget a little 4 year old red head who could barely dog paddle keeping his nose just barely above water as we crossed the pool counseling me, "Mrs. Lifeguard, when you're sick you're supposed to be in bed and your mommy is supposed to take care of you, but I'm glad you're here with me anyways."

 

[AmyO]

I say have at it. I just bought a model of the USS Constitiution as I served as SK (Storekeeper,supplies) on her refit. It took forever but bought a sense of pride. Next up, this next weekend I am taking the kids in jammies (me too!!!) and we are going to the drive in. YEAH!!! I thought they were all gone. So IMO, if you want to play to get back some innocence lost, have loads of fun.