Inability to move

[SophieBernstein]

Sometimes I suddenly feel I can't move at all, like if my body wasn't mine and when I try to force the movement they are really awkward, sometimes my legs and arms lost their pain sense but overall my arms. And with my legs the problems Is that I can't walk like usually for a while.

What can I do?
I put cold water on my face and I smelled hand sanitizer after taking alprazolam but what can I do, they are not very effective.

 

[Friday]

Freeze &/or Depression would be the best descriptors for my inability to move.

((I once lay in bed, watching the lights of some lost driver, at night, drive up the street… then down… then drive up the street… then down…. over & over & fawking over… until I got so irritated by my room getting flooded by headlights that I was about to go give the driver a piece of my mind &/or directions. I stood up. And realized? It’s daytime. There was no car. It’s not dark out. I was “watching” the sun rise & set. Filling my room with light, then dark, then light, then dark. Totally zoned out. And ascribing different meaning to what I saw.))

Being a robot? Going through the motions? Is another kind of disassociation.

Needs must.

Can they combine? CERTAINLY. Every f*cked up aspect of anything, can combine with anything else.

The trick? Regardless of where I find myself? Is the awareness OF where I find myself. Rather than attempting to justify, or explain, or anything else… right here. Right now. Is real.

Let’s move on.., from here.

 

[SophieBernstein]

I dind't understand you , I mean, what do you wanna say with the end?

 

[arfie]

i use tactile grounding to pull myself out of the deep freezes, which i more often call, "dissociated states." the cold water on your face and smelling hand sanitizer are excellent examples of tactile grounding, but there is no grounding tool that will work for everybody. for sure the cold water doesn't work for me. my stomach is heaving at the very thought of smelling hand sanitizer. i have a ton of grounding tools which work for me. i mix them freely to keep each of them fresh and effective. a few of my faves are humming, running a finger up and down my arm. stroking a table or a chair and tapping, be it with a finger, a foot or an inanimate object.

 

[Freddyt]

I dind't understand you , I mean, what do you wanna say with the end?

I think what she meant was learning to realize when you are slipping into dissociation during those events.

Really? Been there done that. Wasn't long ago that when something went wrong - say I dropped a bowl getting one from the cupboard, that I would freeze and if it broke? So did I in a way - just stopped being a useful human being for a few minutes.

This is called the Window of Tolerance. Or as I used to call it The Mail slot of tolerance. Learning to get that window open wider or to just realize how far it's open is a part of not freezing, So is learning to control and mitigate whatever is putting you in that place.

As you figure that out you can learn to handle it better, to reduce, to not let it surprise you and send you to out of control land. In the meantime - find a distraction to take up your thinking for a minute until you recover. One of mine is what I call controlled breathing. Deep breath in as I count to four, Long slow breath out as I count to 8. Focus on breathing and counting - no getting distracted and stopping counting. Stops thinking about whats going on and spiralling because you feel embarrassed or self conscious. Also helps prevent sliding into panic - because conscious thought on breathing doesn't let it get shallow and speed up. Soon enough it becomes where you start mitigating before you get overwhelmed. And that, will be a good start to moving on.

 

[Friday]

I dind't understand you , I mean, what do you wanna say with the end?

Meaning that the MOMENT I’m aware of it happening? I have the ability to effect/change the outcome. Or not.

I’ve done both.

There are a lot of things with PTSD arhat we just have to “ride out”.

In my experience? When disassociation & awareness meet? That’s where we start having choices.

So rather than so&so did this, or that happened, etc. justifying checking out? As soon as I’m aware enough to know what’s happening... Yanking myself up by the collar & doing something about it? Not because what happened was or wasn’t justified, or whatever. Yes/no/doesn’t matter. If I’m aware enough to see what’s happening? STOPPING, and changing the direction = the trick.

Or? Just turning over, warm & snuggly in the justification, and losing more days/weeks/months to being checked out. Until the next time I’m aware of what’s happening.

Awareness? Is the key.

As soon as I’m aware? Acting.