Integration

[KwanYingirl]

What can I do to experience myself as a child? I am wondering if exposure therapy would help. I’m fairly stubborn when it comes to being able to act as a complete person. When I try to talk about my abuse, I immediately dissociate and then I’m gone sometimes for a week. During which time I don’t lay down new memories. It is interfering with my hope to be a soulful self.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Do you have anyone who can remember for you towards that period? At least normal memories

 

[KwanYingirl]

I’m not sure about that. As far as I know my sisters never knew I was being raped.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

But what about usual day to day stuff? Do you remember it?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Just snapshot images of hiding behind a door or standing on the porch roof outside my bedroom, can only remember my first day of first grade. I fell running to the bus and my lunchbox came open and I skinned my knee. Shit like that. Once I was in High School I have regular memories.