kittiekittie
Bronze Member
So I was first diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years ago - but I have some borderline traits which I have figured out is 'c-ptsd' which kind of fits me a bit better. I am medicated, I am in therapy and have been on and off basically since the first trauma. I have had several, all by men. I basically am one of those people who seek to be validated in invalidating relationships and have attachment problems. Anyway, I am in a relationship with a good guy who albeit kind of doesn't understand my issues, he is tolerant of them and really actually means well. He does hurt me but it's not intentional, I know it's my own emotional sensitivity. So I have been trying to find ways to help him help me - and have our relationship be more constructive and harmonious. I am seeing a new therapist, so I am not ready to have him come to therapy with me, but we have discussed it and he is supportive. I would personally like for him to get therapy himself too - but for right now I am working on finding resources to help him learn how to validate me, and also how to deal with me when I am having a flare up.
Our relationship is further complicated because it is long distance, and he isn't as emotionally reactive or expressive as me, which is great because we don't really ever fight or get angry and terrible, but it sucks because I feel like I need MORE validation and reassurance of my feelings than he gives me, and because he's introverted maybe he is uncomfortable? He reads all the things I send him, but I hate looking for psych resources for people other than myself
They all have a tendency to depict always worse case scenario things, or they don't entail situations that are specific to me. I am not a war vet. I was brought up in an invalidating environment with a controlling dad who was verbally and emotionally abusive, and my mom was a caretaker of the alcoholic who was unable to have friends. So I have this neglect from both parents (one intentional and one not) that escalated into an assault where I did fear for my life and my moms. Since then I have re-traumatized myself in a couple of situations that have ended up with rape consequences. Not stranger rape, trusted friend rape.
I've gotten a lot better and medication takes the edge off, but because therapy is so costly it is hard for me to consistently remain in care of a paid therapist. I am starting DBT soon, but for non-ptsd people, what books and resources have helped you understand your significant other best?
Our relationship is further complicated because it is long distance, and he isn't as emotionally reactive or expressive as me, which is great because we don't really ever fight or get angry and terrible, but it sucks because I feel like I need MORE validation and reassurance of my feelings than he gives me, and because he's introverted maybe he is uncomfortable? He reads all the things I send him, but I hate looking for psych resources for people other than myself
They all have a tendency to depict always worse case scenario things, or they don't entail situations that are specific to me. I am not a war vet. I was brought up in an invalidating environment with a controlling dad who was verbally and emotionally abusive, and my mom was a caretaker of the alcoholic who was unable to have friends. So I have this neglect from both parents (one intentional and one not) that escalated into an assault where I did fear for my life and my moms. Since then I have re-traumatized myself in a couple of situations that have ended up with rape consequences. Not stranger rape, trusted friend rape.
I've gotten a lot better and medication takes the edge off, but because therapy is so costly it is hard for me to consistently remain in care of a paid therapist. I am starting DBT soon, but for non-ptsd people, what books and resources have helped you understand your significant other best?
