Intimate Face Time

[LilacFaerie]

Listen, short and sweet: Since my husband has been home from overseas (14 months), when we *do* make love, which is prolly every couple months, he always puts himself in a position where we do not face each other. I can't see his face, I can't kiss him, my hands aren't free run over his skin....... :cry:

The demise of a regular sex life is bad enough, but when he IS in the mood, he can't even fully engage with me.....I feel like an object. The whole tone is different - it's almost as if I can feel that he's trying to "get something done" like it's a business transaction or something.

How can I approach this with him without pissing him off or making him feel like a failure??

 

[ProudWife99]

LilacFaerie, I wish I had some concrete advice to suggest to you. Have you openly communicated to him this is how you've been feeling? I know sometimes we become so starved for attention that we'll take what we can get, but you deserve to feel loved and taken care of as well.

My husband had to approach me and honestly tell me that the way I handled intimacy was not what he wanted. He wanted more from me. I reacted poorly at first as I felt I was being attacked, but I did listen. I did hear him and I did work on it.

 

[LilacFaerie]

I've been trying to avoid the direct approach up til now, ProudWife, but I guess I've just got to bite the bullet and do it. And I have been "taking what I can get". But it's gotten to the point where that just isn't enough anymore.

Maybe I'll steel myself with a glass of Pinot first, and then dive in and see what happens. Thanks for your response. :)