Is Emdr Contraindicated When You're Still Struggling With Occasional Si?

[Suzetig]

I think it depends on how your mind "works", it's not something that has ever worked for me. I can use grounding techniques, breathing exercises etc and have a variety of ways of calming myself but the idea of finding an internal safe space just doesn't work - it's too close to dissociation for me. I find the assertion that "anyone can" quite dis empowering, in that I end up feeling must be something defective in me that I can't do it. I suppose like everything it's horses for courses - now everything works for everyone.

 

[Suzetig]

Sorry, I meant *not* everything works for everyone.

 

[hodge]

I get what you're saying, Suzetig. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that everyone can do it. Absolutely you're right that not everything works for everyone. I haven't been very successful at mindfulness exercises. I can't stay focused. Actually, I can't stay focused on my safe place for long, either. But I finally did find one.

 

[Tinyflame]

I didn't take offence at all, but @Suzetig , that's so how I feel. Thank you. :hug:

I hve even wondered, maybe it's something with the visualization, or physically (can't reduce blood pressure or adrenaline), or even trouble with switching thoughts or or or..? :(

I am getting desperate to find something. :(

 

[shimmerz]

Um, I think it was me, not you, @Junebug, who said anyone. My apologies Suzetig, I did not at all mean to offend you. I should know better than to use such words.

 

[Crow]

Does anyone find this nearly or outright impossible?

Took a long time and giving up control but the going to my safe place is almost automatic in daily life. It can be done.

 

[Sandstone]

I can't find a safe place that stays safe - I always realise how it could become dangerous. It's relatively easy for me to create somewhere and visualise it detail, but if I could get there, so could anyone with evil intent

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes not sure if it can be done as is for me. Hard to even externally feel safe let alone internally. Though I'm not disagreeing @CrowFeather but regular ways aren't working for me. Years decades of trying.

 

[Crow]

regular ways aren't working for me.

Have you tried Somatic Experiencing? That's the only thing that helped me break through.

 

[Panda Bear]

I started EMDR last week and still struggle with SI off and on. But I feel that T and I have things pretty well under wraps. I am open about the feelings and have no issues keep in contact with him should things get out of control.

If it were insanely bad, he wouldn't take me through the EMDR.

 

[Suzetig]

I wasn't offended @shimmerz and @hodge but thank you for your responses - I do appreciate them. It's my stuff really in that I feel I "should" be able to do the safe internal space thing but my mind doesn't work that way at all. For me the problem is that I grew up with literally no sense of safety - things that seemed safe could and did change in a heartbeat to something more sinister so any safe place or stare triggers the sense of dread that comes with knowing things can change on a dime.

Not to disagree @CrowFeather, I'm glad it works for you but it really can't be done in a way that works for me.

 

[hodge]

I grew up in the same kind of environment, Suzetig. It took me so long to visualize a safe place, because I could always imagine how intruders could get there. Finally, I settled on being in hubby's arms as my safe place. Yeah, shit could happen, but that's just the reality. I've largely learned how to live without being in constant fear. A huge thing for me.